Atlanteans, Natives, and Wraith, Oh My!
by FlitterFlutterFly
Summary: A collection of all my SGA oneshots. All are McShep. M rating is only for some of the stories. First chapter is a summary list of all stories within.
1. Summary List

All of my Stargate Atlantis stories are here in this collection as separate "chapters". If you wish to read/favorite them as separate entities, they still exist separately on my ao3 account (also FlitterFlutterFly).

These are all McShep (aka Rodney McKay/John Sheppard) slash stories. Probably all the ones in the future will be the same, because they are my number one OTP of all time.

Feel free to skip around to what stories sound interesting to you. Each will have individual pairing lists, warnings, and other notes within that "chapter".

* * *

**1 - **This Summary List

**2 - Pace Yourself**

John paused. "Does this mean I can take you back to my apartment?" Rodney laughed, surprised, and nodded. Rated T. ~1,000 words.

**3 - On Being a Superhero**

In which Rodney McKay is rescued by a superhero and falls in love. With a cup of coffee. Rated K+. ~1,500 words.

**4 - Six Times They Were In Love**

The five times someone else had to tell John and Rodney of their respective feelings for each other and the one time they figured it out themselves. Rated T. ~3,500 words.

**5 - The Mark of the Dragon**

Dragonriders, the Lords and Ladies of the Kingdom of Pegasus, were never refused. In the face of the dashing heir apparent and lead Rider who went by the name of John, the mage Rodney Mckay was no exception. Rated M. ~5,000 words.

**6 - The Twelve Sleepy Scientists**

Twelve of the most brilliant scientists of Atlantis have been acting very strangely lately and Queen Elizabeth tasks a strange wanderer to find out why. The reward: choosing one of them to be his bride. Rated T. ~1,500 words.

**7 - Escape**

When the Genii succeed in taking over Atlantis, John must come to terms not only with his stranded expedition, but also with how his growing feelings for Rodney are suddenly tested to the point of breaking. Meanwhile, the city herself watches in horror at the destruction that approaches. Rated M. Includes Off-screen Rape. ~10,000 words.

**8 - Z is for ZedPM**

Rodney may have found a ZPM, but John had lost Rodney and that was unacceptable. Now it was just a matter of making Rodney realize that his life was more important than anything. Rated T. ~1,000 words.


	2. Pace Yourself

**Title: **Pace Yourself  
**Summary: **John paused. "Does this mean I can take you back to my apartment?" Rodney laughed, surprised, and nodded.  
**Genres: **First Time  
**Pairing: **Sheppard/McKay  
**Rating: **T  
**Warnings: **None  
**Notes: **Short first date story.

* * *

"That," John proclaimed, "was amazing."

Rodney snorted, still clutching his extra extra large bowl of popcorn protectively to his chest. "You just liked the explosions."

"I mean, I knew it would be good," John continued as if Rodney hadn't said anything. "They blew up a football field in the previews for it, after all. Only Bane would be evil enough to interrupt a game like that."

"You're ridiculous, you know that?" Rodney stepped closer, bumping his shoulders with John.

John turned, eyes suddenly hesitant. "Did you like it?"

"Of course I did," Rodney shook his head. "What Batman fan wouldn't like the newest Dark Knight movie?"

"Well at least I accomplished something," John said, a frown tugging at the edge of his lips. Rodney figured he was thinking of the rest of their rather disastrous date… picnics were no fun in the rain and while Rodney was usually fond of Chinese food, the orange chicken wasn't what he'd ordered.

"Hey," Rodney said, before John could get too morose. "I had a great time."

John paused. "Does that mean I can take you back to my apartment?"

Rodney laughed, surprised, and nodded. He leaned into John as the man put a hand on the small of his back and let him lead them to the rental car. They were, after all, only on Earth for another couple of days and, despite DADT having been recalled, it was a bit harder to be open about their budding relationship on Atlantis.

Twenty minutes later, Rodney found himself half on John's lap, watching him drain away the last beer in his bottle before setting it down on the side table. The popcorn was now totally demolished, all that was left of it shown in slightly buttery fingers and a mildly sticky tongue.

Rodney lifted one of those fingers, debating getting up to go to John's (or rather John's brothers, since apparently his family had apartments all over the world that they just kept incase they needed to stay somewhere) kitchen to wash off. He was too comfortable to move, though, so instead Rodney stuck it in his mouth, sucking the salt away.

John's breath hitched besides him and Rodney glanced over to find his boyfriend, boyfriend- that word never failed to elicit a shudder through him, staring greedily at his mouth.

Rodney raised an eyebrow and stuck in a second finger, making his sucking noises obscenely more obnoxious.

He was on his back before he even saw John move. "Hey," he huffed, taking his fingers out of his mouth.

"Hey," John said back, his voice hoarse. He leaned in and took Rodney's still wet fingers in his own mouth, gently licking at them.

Rodney's watched with wide eyes, his cock twitching in his nice jeans. John's body aligned with his in one smooth move and he rocked.

Gasping, Rodney's head arched back and his eyes closed briefly. "John."

"I got you," John murmured. "I know what you need."

Rodney clutched at his lover's arms. "Just you," he said. "Only you."

John huffed, taking his mouth away from Rodney's fingers and moving it to Rodney's neck. "Good."

"I knew you were the possessive type," Rodney said, one hand softly stroking down John's spine.

"You don't mind," John stated.

Rodney shook his head. How could he? "So few people in my life have cared for me enough to even contemplate being possessive," he admitted softly.

"So few people have every bothered to see you," John said. "And they are fools for it."

Rodney felt his cheeks heating up as John's eyes met his squarely. "I only need you," he said, repeating his earlier words.

"You have me," John promised. "You'll always have me."

"You can't," Rodney moaned as John rocked again, both of their cocks rubbing behind denim. "You can't promise that. Not with our jobs."

John didn't answer, probably because he didn't have an answer to that. It was only the truth. Instead, he pushed harder and Rodney gasped. "This would be better naked."

"Yeah," Rodney chuckled breathlessly. He couldn't contain a noise of disappointment, though, as John made to get up off him.

John shushed him gently. "Come on, let's go to the bed."

"John," Rodney said, stopping him. He reached a hand up and stroked John's cheek. "I love you."

John's breath hitched and the turned to fully face Rodney. "I… me too, Rodney. God, I love you so much." There was pain in John's tone, as if his words had waited too long for this moment.

Rodney thought of Katie and Jennifer and all the countless girls in between and closed his eyes. "I'm sorry."

"No," John told him harshly. "You're here now. That's what matters."

It wasn't enough, not to make up for those years of pining and longing and hoping only for Rodney to show him an engagement ring and ask him again to be his best man. Only to wonder why, one month later, Rodney called the wedding off unexpectedly and Jennifer showed up at John's door and slapped him roughly across the face before asking to be transferred back to Earth.

Nearly six years after they first met, more than five since John had fallen in love, and it was a drunken kiss that had them starting this relationship.

"I'm here," Rodney said, his fingers trembling now as he clutched at John's shirt. "We got here."

John reached down and kissed Rodney chastely on the lips. "And we're not going anywhere."


	3. On Being a Superhero

**Title: **On Being a Superhero  
**Summary: **In which Rodney McKay is rescued by a superhero and falls in love. With a cup of coffee.  
**Genres: **Crack!Fic, AU  
**Pairing: **Sheppard/McKay  
**Rating: **K+  
**Warnings: **None  
**Notes: **Written for the stargateland challenge: Heroes. Includes the words: dare, sunset, coffee, and travel.

* * *

It was a dare that had Rodney on the roof of the tallest building in the Florida-based city of Atlantis. He gulped slightly as he looked down at the impressive drop to the parking lot below, and then back over at the one who'd dared him.

Kavanagh gave him a raised eyebrow and a shooing motion.

"Are you sure about this?" Rodney asked as he once again checked the parachute before deciding it would hold him and slipping it onto his back.

"Absolutely," Kavanagh told him. "Come on McKay, or are you too chicken?"

Rodney scowled and stepped up to the ledge, he took a steading breath as his head swam. "I'm not sure-" he began.

"Too late," Kavanagh said, right behind him. Too close. "Goodbye, Dr. McKay."

There was a tearing sound, as if something had ripped from the pack on Rodney's back, and then he was falling.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-" Rodney screamed, high-pitched and terrified. "Oh god oh god oh god I'm gonna die."

The ground was rushing closer and Rodney closed his eyes, his mind flashing to Jeannie and his parents and his cat, his poor cat, and the proof he'd left unfinished on his desk that he'd been sure would finally get him the Nobel Prize.

The ground hit soft against his chest and Rodney let out a whoof of breath.

He opened his eyes, hesitant, and looked down to see that it wasn't the ground he'd hit, but a black-clothed arm. His eyes traced the arm up to the body it was attached to, seeing a cape flapping over the shoulders, and then towards the face.

A black mask covered around caramel-green eyes, only to make way for tanned skin around frowning lips and a slender, but strong chin. The sunset, a dramatic backdrop, cast the man into shadows and stole Rodney's breath for a brief moment.

"Are you stupid?" the masked hero asked, breaking that moment.

"No I am not!" Rodney said, outrage pulling him out of his shock. "I have two PhDs, I'll have you know!"

"You jumped off a building with a defective parachute," the hero drawled. "I'd say that's pretty stupid, doctorate or not."

"I didn't… it wasn't," Rodney gaped. Weren't heroes supposed to be nice to victims? "Kavanagh pushed me!"

"Kavanagh?" the hero asked. He moved and then suddenly they were flying back through the air toward the rooftop. Rodney twisted in the strong grip the man had on him so that he could see, and berate, the scientist.

Kavanagh wasn't there however. Instead, the sickly green and purple uniform of one of Atlantis' supervillains, the Wraith, showed itself.

"I can't believe it," Rodney gaped. "Really, just what the hell did you bribe Kavanagh with so that he'd work for you?"

The Wraith sneered at him, but ignored his question to turn its eyes on the hero who was still holding Rodney. "Flyboy," it greeted. "One would think you would not care about the life of a simple physicist."

"Okay, what?" Rodney turned to the hero incredulously. "Flyboy? Really, that's the best you can come up with. That's a stupid name! And you," he turned back to the Wraith, "I am not a simple physicist, I am the lead scientist in the field of astrophysics and aerospace engineering. I am very much worth saving."

"Dr. McKay," Flyboy, really?, interrupted. "I wouldn't provoke-"

The Wraith laughed. "Provoke me?"

Flyboy's mouth tightened. "I'd shoot you right now, you sick f-"

"Ah, but you cannot," the Wraith laughed. "Not whilst holding a civilian. I am right in front of you and you cannot even touch me."

Flyboy hovered, eyes darker now than they'd been earlier. Rodney stayed silent, now uncertain. "No," Flyboy admitted after a minute, "but they can."

Rodney looked up just in time to see two more masked heroes join the fray. There was the Runner, a feral vigilante turned superhero, and the beautiful female fighter, Gifted Warrior.

Flyboy watched them fight for a moment, and then turned away, flying still with Rodney in his arms. Rodney frowned. "Hey, why are we leaving?"

"They can take care of themselves," Flyboy said. "And we need to get you to safety, McKay."

"Safety?" Rodney repeated.

"Yeah," Flyboy said, adjusting his grip on Rodney's torso, pulling him a little flusher to his body as he swerved around a skyscraper. "We've heard rumors that the Wraith has taken up working with the Commander, of the villainous Genii team, to either capture or kill you."

"What?" Rodney gaped. "Me, but… why would they? I mean I know why they would, I am brilliant, but… I didn't-"

"Don't worry, McKay," Flyboy drawled. "You'll be safe with us."

"Who is us?" Rodney asked, stunned.

"The Atlanteans," Flyboy grinned.

Twenty minutes later, by which Rodney had come to terms with the fact that he was now a dead man, and had also decided that flying was by far the coolest way to travel, they arrived at the Atlantean base of operations.

Right smack in the center of Atlantis.

"This is hardly great security for a superhero base," Rodney muttered as he tapped into the computer system of the headquarters.

"What are you doing?" another hero, the one who'd patted Flyboy on the back and said he'd watch over Rodney, asked.

"Bolstering our systems, apparently," Flyboy came back, no longer in his ridiculous, and by that Rodney meant ridiculously attractive, uniform.

Rodney looked up, mouth caught open as he stared now at the full face of the hero who'd saved his life. "Wait, you're John Sheppard!" he exclaimed. "Son of Patrick Sheppard, of Sheppard Industries, right?"

Sheppard nodded tightly and then turned to the person behind him. "Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth, apparently, stepped into the room. She gave Rodney a once over and then nodded. "Welcome to the team, Rodney."

"Welcome to the…" Rodney blinked. "I'm no superhero."

"Maybe, maybe not," Elizabeth smiled, "but right now you need our help and we might even need yours," she nodded to the computer. "In the past several months, we've had fifteen breaches in our security. We think it maybe the work of a Dr. Kavanagh."

"I'm not sure," Rodney began. There were so many variables to take into account and while he definitely wanted to get back at Kavanagh for pushing him off the roof, he couldn't just drop his life like that.

Just then, Sheppard set a full mug of coffee at his side. Rodney took it instinctually, sipping it.

"Oh god," Rodney moaned. "This is the best coffee I've ever had."

And it was, creamy and dark and bitter and sweet. It sent tingles down Rodney's spine, his fingers shivering against the side of the mug in bliss. "Oh god," he repeated again, eyes closing from the pure wonder of the coffee. "This is… this is too good to be true. How is this so good? This is amazing, this is… I love this."

"We know," Sheppard leaned against the desk, smiling in a way that crinkled the sides of his eyes. "So?"

Rodney took another sip, and then a healthy gulp. "Keep the coffee coming," he said, snapping his fingers, "and you've got yourself a deal."

Elizabeth shook her head, motioning something towards the other hero. They left, leaving Sheppard and Rodney and the orgasmic cup of coffee.

There was several moments of silence, in which Rodney thought everything over a bit more and then decided that there were worse turns his life could have taken. Turns that wouldn't have had the coffee besides him.

"I always wanted to be a superhero," Rodney said as he fixed another default firewall in the system.

"You're not a superhero," Sheppard said. "Not yet at least. You have to earn that title."

Rodney paused, his fingers freezing on the keyboard. "Like you did?"

"Yeah," Sheppard leaned forward and tapped something, finishing up the code Rodney had just started. He leaned away again, clapping Rodney on the shoulder. "Who knows, you might just have what it takes."

Rodney looked up, taking in those eyes that were the same color as the coffee in the mug. He couldn't be sure that he did, but, "I can at least try."

"That's the spirit," Sheppard said. "Refill?"

"Hell yes," Rodney held out the mug. Sheppard laughed.


	4. Six Times They Were In Love

**Title: **Six Times They Were in Love  
**Summary: **The five times someone else had to tell John and Rodney of their respective feelings for each other and the one time they figured it out themselves.  
**Genres: **5 + 1 Story, Humor  
**Pairing: **Sheppard/McKay  
**Rating: **T  
**Warnings: **Awkward Conversations  
**Notes: **Written for the mini!bang of Stargateland's final phase: Everything I love about Stargate.

Each 'time' comes in the season by which it's named, so **III** is set in the third season. That means—yep you guessed it—**VI** is set post show.

* * *

**I.**

Rodney cursed under his breath, pulling his hand back to shake it. "Three easy steps," he mocked. "I'd like to see the manufacturers try to set up this tent on an alien planet with only a purple atmosphere for lighting."

"Let me," Teyla said, taking the hammer from him and driving the stake into the hard ground with one swing.

Rodney sighed, sitting back on his butt with a groan. "You know, I always wanted to go camping as a kid."

"Not as advertised, huh doc?" Ford laughed behind his hand.

"Okay, folks, perimeter is secure," John approached the makeshift camp and then looked up at the purple sky. "Suppose we should turn in for the night before continuing onto the settlement, Teyla?"

"I believe that is a good plan, Major," Teyla nodded.

"Cool," John scratched the back of his head. Rodney followed the movement and then caught himself, snapping his eyes away from John's too perfect face. Military, he reminded himself. He's military and way too beautiful for you anyways.

"Guess it's you and me, sir?" Ford grinned and gestured towards the tent.

Rodney was just about to head to his own tent, or at least the one he supposed would be his, when Teyla spoke up, a frown on her face.

"On my world it was customary for those in courting to share accommodations during hunting and trading trips. It was often said that no couple should be allowed full joining unless they had been on at least three such trips together, to ensure compatibility," Teyla said. "Is it not so, on your world?"

"What?" John asked, looking just as confused as Rodney felt.

Teyla looked from Rodney to John. "You two are not in courting?"

"That, I-" Rodney gaped. "You, but this, um..."

"Teyla," John began with a glance towards Ford.

Ford held up his hands. "Look, sir, I figure what a man wants is what a man wants and no government should tell him otherwise."

"Your government forbids your courtship?" Teyla's eyes flashed. "That is surely something we should have been informed of before entering in an alliance with your people, Major."

"It's not illegal in Canada," Rodney offered, because this conversation was starting to get weird. He figured he might be dreaming.

"You're not too subtle about it, sir," Ford offered. "If you want to share a tent, I won't say anything."

John looked at Rodney with a raised eyebrow and Rodney shrugged. "Don't look at me. You're the one that's apparently been obviously crushing."

"To be fair," Ford cut in. "You both have."

Rodney blushed and John's eyebrows rose higher. "Okay then," he said, "I guess we're sharing a tent, Rodney."

Rodney nodded, speechless as he resigned himself to a night stuck with a boner and an awkward conversation where John assured him that no he wasn't actually interested, it was all a joke, wasn't it?

They all separated, settling down into their tents. Rodney once again cursed the slip of his arm that had the fourth tent go falling down a ravine. He wondered if this was the team's way of getting back at them.

Inside the tent, Rodney awkwardly sat on top of his bedroll, watching as John closed the flap. His breath caught as John turned back to him. "Look, Sheppard-"

"Hold it," John said. "I just want you to know that no matter what the team says, I don't like the idea of being distracted during a mission." He paused. "And besides, even with that ass I don't put out before I even get a first date."

"Really?" Rodney gaped. "You're not playing me here?"

John raised his eyebrow again. "No, Rodney. I'm not."

"Oh, well," Rodney cleared his throat. "How about dinner on the east pier, say around eight tomorrow?"

"Perfect." John grinned and Rodney's heart skipped a beat.

**II.**

"I don't get it," Ronon said.

John looked over at the runner, swinging his arms in a nice stretch. "What don't you get?" he asked. "Wait, no, I can guess. All of it, right?" He waved his hand around, encompassing the section of the city they were about to continue jogging in. "Sometimes I don't really get it either."

Ronon's mouth twitched in a sort of feral smile. "That," he agreed. And then his smile dropped and he seemed contemplative.

In the past couple of weeks since Ronon had joined them, John had learned that the best way to get information out of the man was to wait for him to reveal it. So he just jerked his head and watched out of the corner of his eyes as they started back up a steady pace.

A mile out from the end of their run, Ronon let out a harsh breath. "Do your people not have pair-bonding?"

"What?" John nearly tripped.

"Handfasting, joinings, mating," Ronon frowned at him.

"Uh, yeah, we do," John said. "Do you… why do you ask?" He wondered if Ronon had perhaps caught the eyes of some lucky lady on the city. He wondered if that would be a problem, but he figured Elizabeth wouldn't mind.

"Are you mated?" Ronon asked.

John did trip then, but he recovered. "No," he said. His mind flashed to a certain blue-eyed scientist, but he pulled himself back quickly. "I'm not in a relationship."

"Relationship," Ronon repeated. "Why not?"

"It's not…" John paused. "I don't really have time right now, new commander of the city and all, and I-"

"Does he know that?" Ronon interrupted.

John stopped and frowned. "What?"

"Does he know that you aren't pushing him away because you don't care for him?" Ronon looked away. "I nearly made that mistake with Melena. Once."

Who's Melena? John wanted to ask, but something in Ronon's eyes stopped him. "I'm not sure we're talking about the same thing right now," he said instead. He hadn't thought he'd been that obvious. He hoped not, not now that he was military commander of the city.

"Yeah," Ronon snorted. "McKay, the way he looks at you," he let out a harsh laugh, "that's not the kind of thing that you should let simmer and die, John Sheppard. Not when life is so short."

"Rodn- McKay doesn't like me that way," John said, wincing as he realized how much that made him sound like a thirteen year old girl.

"But you like him that way," Ronon noted. "On my world, there was a saying. Where there is two hearts thumping, their bearers hear only one."

John bit down his immediate response to that. Before he could think of a better way to make Ronon understand, to have him realize that two guys, even if Rodney was harboring some sort of crush on him, just wasn't done, couldn't be done… before he could even think of a way to lie about what his own heart was saying, the radio beeped.

"Colonel Sheppard," Lorne said over the comm. "You're needed in the main lab."

John tapped the radio. "Coming."

Two hours later, John was in his room, scrubbing at the goo that had matted his hair. "That's the last time I pressing a button that says do not press," he seethed.

His door sounded with a knock. John huffed. "Who is it?"

"Uh, it's Rodney, McKay, Rodney McKay," came the voice from the other in.

"Come in McKay," John said. The door whooshed open to reveal Rodney, holding a jar in his hands and looking a bit nervous. "Another emergency?"

"No, ah," Rodney's eyes traced his hair and then down his face. "I brought you some conditioner. It should help with the… hair. I made it myself, um, but I'm unsure how it will react with whatever gel you usually use-"

"I don't use gel," John said, too used to that question to even get angry at it anymore. "My hair just grows like that." He'd had too many commanders ask the same thing, ordering him to shave his head in a buzz cut. And he did, only to have it grow back the next week.

It was, in a word, frustrating. As his own commander on Atlantis, he was happy enough to let it maintain itself in it's slightly-longer-than-protocol-demands position.

"Oh," Rodney muttered. He thrust the little jar forward. "Here, take it."

"Thanks," John said, his fingers brushing against Rodney's as he took it. He tried not to notice as Rodney shivered at the touch, but Ronon's words echoed at him.

"If that's all," Rodney began.

"Wait, Mc- Rodney," John cleared his throat and with a mental nudge he asked Atlantis to close the door. She complied.

Rodney turned wide blue eyes on him. "You're not going to kill me for the goo thing, right," he squeaked. "Cause that was not my fault."

"No," John stepped closer, wondering if he was reading this right, if maybe Ronon had misinterpreted Rodney's interest.

But no, Rodney leaned into him, looking almost drugged. Yeah, John thought. He brushed fingers against the scientist's cheek. "John," Rodney whispered.

"Thanks for the conditioner," John murmured back.

Rodney blushed, his face an attractive pink, and under John's hand, he nodded.

**III.**

"John, Rodney, my office," Elizabeth's voice rang clear over the radio.

Rodney scowled, setting down his laptop with a thud. The other scientist's in the lab gave him scared looks. Good, he thought, let them simmer. He knew he'd been cranky all morning, but he figured they should be kept on their toes.

It had nothing to do with a stupid mop of hair and aviator sunglasses. Nothing at all.

Rodney took a deep breath, approaching the door to Elizabeth's office. He could see that John was already there, his back rigid as he listened to whatever it was that Elizabeth was saying,

He opened the door and stalked right up to the desk. "Look, Elizabeth, let's just get this over with because I'm very busy in the labs right now."

"Okay, Rodney," Elizabeth said, the tilt of her head telling Rodney that she wasn't amused. "I don't care who started the fight, but two days is long enough and I'm ending it."

"It's nothing," John said, mouth tight. "There's no fight."

"Really?" Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "What, did one of you refuse to put out. Honestly, this is why dating within your occupation is a bad idea, but I understand. I do, we live here so it's hardly the usual job."

Rodney blinked at her. "I'm not following."

"This lovers' spat you have going on," Elizabeth said, crossing her arms. "It needs to stop. I don't care how you resolve it," she told them. "Just, kiss and make up before you wreck our command structure. I've already had fifty complaints this day."

"Elizabeth," John said, sounding so scandalized that Rodney burst out laughing.

"Stop fooling yourselves," Elizabeth shook her head and headed towards the door, "and don't have sex in my office!"

The door closed behind her and silence permeated between them for a moment, before John sighed. "I don't even remember why I'm mad at you."

"Me neither," Rodney admitted. "It was something stupid."

"Yeah," John laughed. "But hey, so Elizabeth thinks we're dating."

"That's ridiculous," Rodney agreed, but his laugh got caught in his throat and he looked away.

John's did too. "Ridiculous?"

Rodney closed his eyes. "Maybe not?"

There was more silence, and then John let out a deep breath. "Maybe not."

**IV.**

Carson slipped his stethoscope back over his neck. "Looks like you two didn't pick up anything nasty for your mission," he said.

John nodded. "Good, thanks Carson."

"Wait," Carson held up a hand. "Before you go, I'd like to do a rectal exam on the both of you."

"A what?" Rodney spurted. "Why in the galaxy would we need that?"

"Because you two are a couple, aren't you?" Carson shrugged. "Honestly, this… this silly little dance of yours is worse than my mother's favorite soaps."

Rodney's face looked horrified and John knew his must copy that.

"Oh, no no, I can be perfectly discreet," Carson amended, misinterpreting their expressions. "Lord knows I've had to be in the past."

"I don't think I should know that," John interjected. "Doc, it's not… you're not quite-"

"John and I are just friends, Carson," Rodney said. John flashed him a grateful smile.

"You don't have to lie to me," Carson shook his head. "I'm gonna do that rectal scan regardless."

John sighed. "We really are just friends," he said. "There's nothing, Rodney was dating Katie, remember?"

"Yeah, and he broke up with her because she got tired of playing second best," Carson scowled. "Honestly, I know you're the military commander here, Sheppard, but there aren't many on Atlantis who would care. Not once they've gotten to know you, both of you."

"I think that's supposed to mean something," Rodney said. "But I don't know what."

"Neither do I," John admitted. "Look, Carson, you don't have to worry about me, I know what it feels like to be torn, and Rodney would probably come the minute he was in pain, right?"

Carson frowned. "Well, aye, that's probably true."

"Good, now I'm getting hungry which means, Rodney, you must be starving?" John gave Rodney the play along glance.

"Aren't they having blue jello today?" Rodney snapped his fingers. "We should go before the botanists steal it all. We'll see you later, okay Carson?"

They rushed out of the infirmary before the doctor could call him back. Halfway down the hall, though, Rodney stopped. "You know what being torn feels like?"

"Let's not, Rodney, and say we did," John winced. He'd hoped the scientist wouldn't pick up on that, or at least, ignore it.

"No, no you said you know what it feels like to be torn," Rodney pinned him with bright blue eyes. "Which implies that you've had anal intercourse before. Which implies that you do occasionally like men, which implies that Carson might be right."

"What?" John gaped. "That, that makes even less sense than what Carson was spouting."

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Carson said that we both are interested in each other, sexually, possibly romantically, and since I know that I am, I thought he was just wrong about you, but if you aren't opposed to men, that means that maybe he's right."

"You like men?" John gaped. "Really?"

"Yeah," Rodney turned away, confidence gone suddenly. "And I hope you do too cause I might have just totally screwed our friendship over which would suck cause I've never had a friend as long as we've been friends, most of the time they figure out that they hate me-"

"Rodney," John cut him off before Rodney could get ahead of himself. "I don't hate you."

"Does that mean you do like me?" Rodney's eyes were hopeful, too hopeful.

John looked around, but then again he'd never been worried about his career very much before, not when it mattered. "Yeah," he nodded. "Even romantically."

"That… that's good," Rodney looked lost, all of the sudden, as if he hadn't been expecting that.

John laughed. "It is, isn't it?"

**V.**

He knew what that look on her face meant before she even opened her mouth. "We're breaking up, aren't we?" Rodney half-asked, mouth twisted in a sort of resigned scowl.

Jennifer's jaw snapped closed and she nodded. After a moment's awkward silence, she cleared her throat. "I think we both knew this was coming."

"Yeah," Rodney nodded. "We did."

"I was a bit of an idiot, actually," Jennifer said. "Katie did warn me, but I thought… well I thought I'd be different."

"Wait, Katie warned you?" Rodney's mouth twisted. "What did she say?"

Jennifer waved a hand in the air. "Oh, nothing bad, Rodney. You're not the most attentive boyfriend in the world, but with our jobs I can't really expect you to be."

"Then what?" Rodney scratched his arm, suddenly nervous. "Was this about the almost engagement, is that it? Cause I didn't… there were extenuating circumstances."

"Yeah, I know," Jennifer rolled her eyes. "I've known since the time with the Ancient shrine," she sighed. "Though I suppose I should have known before then. I was just… too blind, I guess."

"What are you talking about?" Rodney snapped. He didn't like to be reminded of the time he'd gone brain damaged and Jennifer had never brought it up before.

Jennifer's eyes met him squarely. "I need to tell you something Jennifer," she parroted. "I- I love you."

Rodney felt his face go red, "that…"

"You weren't talking to me, were you?" Jennifer asked. "You couldn't say what you wanted so you used my name, but that wasn't for me."

And, in the face of her firm stare, Rodney could only nod. "I didn't want to forget."

Jennifer let out a harsh laugh. "You didn't forget. You never forgot him, not even at the very end."

"I'm sorry," Rodney whispered.

"I just want one thing, Rodney," Jennifer said. "One thing."

Rodney nodded, his gut twisting in his stomach. A beautiful girl had practically fallen in his arms and he couldn't keep her because he couldn't let go of his best friend. Couldn't let go of his feelings.

"Tell John," Jennifer stated.

"Tell me what?" John's voice interrupted them, coming around the corner. "Hey, Rodney we've got a mission in thirty, remember. Sorry to interrupt," he nodded to Jennifer, his eyes hard for just a moment before they calmed into calculated disinterest.

And yeah, Rodney had known that John didn't really like Jennifer, but that was the first time he'd caught more than just dislike.

"Tell John that you love him," Jennifer said, her voice just as harsh as John's eyes had been.

Rodney froze, and he noticed and John did as well. "What?" the colonel asked.

Jennifer raised an eyebrow, waiting. Vindictive bitch, Rodney thought, but there was no real bite even in his mind. He felt… tired.

He was so tired of keeping it in. "John."

"Rodney, what did she-" John began.

"I do," Rodney cut him off. "Love you, I mean. And I know I shouldn't, you're my best friend, but I can't stop. I've tried, God I've tried, but I love you too much."

John looked whiplashed. "You… I thought- you aren't gay."

Rodney shrugged. "Bi, maybe, it's never really bothered me, gender."

It was such a relief, getting it off his chest, that he barely even noticed Jennifer leaving.

"And you love me?" John asked.

"Yes, John," Rodney rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I do," he added, slower. "It won't- I don't want it to affect our friendship, but I know you military men aren't always the most tolerant and…"

John's laugh startled him. "We're more tolerant than you think," John muttered.

"So we can still be friends?" Rodney asked.

"No," John shook his head. "No, not with that… God, no Rodney. I don't think I'd be able to stand just being friends with you when I know that."

Rodney pulled back, stunned and, if he was being honest with himself, more than a bit hurt. "Well I'm sorry, I can't help it."

"Good," John stepped forward. "It'll make this easier."

And he leaned in, lightly pressing his lips to Rodney's. Rodney reacted before he brain could catch up, pushing back hungrily. John swallowed his gasp and pressed closer.

"You," Rodney panted, pulling back. "Really?"

"Really," John smiled, his eyes glowing. "Really, Rodney."

**VI.**

"John," Rodney slid down next to him.

John leaned back, resting his arm just around the curve of Rodney's back. "Hey, did you and Radek manage to figure the conductor out."

"I wish," Rodney sighed. He shifted, a heavy weight against John's side.

Times like this meant the world to John. He looked out across the water, his legs tangling with Rodney's off the end of the pier, and thought of all the times they almost let this go.

"You got a new bunch of marines today," Rodney stated.

"Yeah," John's lips twitched.

"How did that go?" Rodney asked.

John glanced over at his lover of six years. "I think they're being warned in advance. I only had to beat one ass to the floor this time to prove that a gay commanding officer can still fight."

"Huh," Rodney's eyes twinkled a bit. "Well it's only been a couple of months on DADT's eradication."

John laughed, leaning down to kiss Rodney's lips softly. "We've had to hide this for years, Rodney, ever since the supply closet on Antarctica, but I would have quit my job before quitting you."

"I can't quit you," Rodney quoted back. "I love you too much for that."

John smiled. "Far too much, Rodney. You're my whole universe."

Rodney laughed and pressed a hand to John's thigh. "And you're mine."


	5. The Mark of the Dragon

**Title: **The Mark of the Dragon  
**Summary: **Dragonriders, the Lords and Ladies of the Kingdom of Pegasus, were never refused. In the face of the dashing heir apparent and lead Rider who went by the name of John, the mage Rodney Mckay was no exception.  
**Genres: **AU, Fantasy, Dom/sub Undertones, Angst with a Happy Ending  
**Pairing: **Sheppard/McKay, side Lorne/Zelenka and O'Neill/Jackson  
**Rating: **M  
**Warnings: **Dub-con, Minor Character Death  
**Notes: **When I say Dub-con, I mean it's really really dubious consent especially for one sexual scene... approaching what I would call rape in real life. However, this is fantasy and neither Rodney nor John see it as such.

* * *

Rodney McKay grumbled under his breath as he stalked away from the research lab. The idiots working under him had no concept of the complex magic that went behind the engineering on a transport, and it showed in their work.

And they had to nerve to tell him that his theory was wrong!

Rodney punched a point on one of the said transporters with his index finger, wishing instead that he could poke one of his assistants instead. A rush of magical energy surrounded him as the transporter whirled to work and Rodney took a deep breath. He closed his eyes at the sensation of it, letting it calm him down. His own magic flared up in his soul and he touched his amulet briefly. The sapphire power gem flashed under his finger tips, before growing dull again as the magic deposited Rodney at his destination.

Sometimes, Rodney pitied the others, the non-mages, who couldn't feel the power that vibrated through the city-palace that was the capital of the Kingdom of Pegasus. Atlantis was the most interconnected city in the world; her passageways and transporters making her look and act as one building instead of an entire city. She'd been constructed thousands of years ago by mages so powerful that they had ascended into beings of pure energy when they finished their work. Ancients.

Mages like Rodney held only a fraction of the power the Ancients once held, but it was enough for Atlantis to respond and welcome them. The kingdom had flourished around the city that had been its first discovery, and now Pegasus was a force to be reckoned with. There was no doubt in the mind of any nation that the kingdom that held the lost city of the Ancients was one of the most powerful.

Except, perhaps, for the Wraith Empire.

Rodney arrived at his rooms, carelessly discarding his outer robes and soft boots. With a sigh, he plopped down on his large bed, remorse showing that he had no one to come home to. Or rather, no one who wanted to come home to him.

A Consort by nature yet a Lord by action, his sister used to say. That was when they still talked, before she got herself claimed by a scholar he couldn't stand and had a daughter he barely knew.

But such was the way of Lords and Ladies.

At times like this, when Rodney thought bitterly on his life and on all the people who had screwed him over, he could almost believe that he wasn't jealous of his sister for having Kaleb. Or of his deputy scientist and best friend Radek for having Second Commander Evan Lorne.

Of course, at times like this, he wouldn't be able to stay in denial long. He lived for the truth far too much. So, as he rolled over and stared at the empty right side of the bed, he inevitably found that he couldn't ignore the white-hot pang of bitter longing that ran through him.

ooo

"You are not concentrating." Radek was frowning, Rodney could tell that by his tone.

"Yes, I am!" Rodney protested, but they both knew that Radek was in the right.

With a groan, Rodney put down the device he was holding and brought a hand to massage his temple.

"You have not been sleeping," Radek noted, standing just far enough out of Rodney's reach to be safe, but close enough to be intrusive.

"Neither have you," Rodney countered, just a bit more viciously than he had intended.

Radek, used to Rodney's sharp tongue, just blushed a slight pink. His Lord had arrived home earlier that week from a long siege against the Wraith. It was to be expected that he'd not been given much time to rest.

The city had rejoiced at the successful return of its Dragonriders, but none more so than the Consorts whose Lords and Ladies carried the title. Then again, the unbonded Riders were always quick to find companions so more than just the partnered Consorts looked forward to the return of the enigmatic elite. No one refused a Rider unless they were already bonded. No one ever thought to.

Dragonriders were chosen at birth by their dragons. All children were shown to the dragon coven some point between their seventh and eleventh birthdays, when they were old enough to show some of their eventual personality yet young enough to still be trained to do what they were shown to be.

It was the dragons, the purest forms of magic in corporal form, that labeled a child future Lord or future Consort. It was the dragons that indicated the children with magic versus the children without and the track their magic was likely to follow. It was the dragons that chose their masters out of a very small group of Lord mages.

It is said that the King of the dragons himself tested Rodney, bringing a snout to the young boy's forehead to the surprise of all those present as witnesses. The King had roared, shocking both the young Rodney and the onlookers. When the Prince dragon had flown in on and landed next to his father, everyone had been sure that Rodney was about to be chosen as the next heir apparent. Even the young King Jack O'Neill, the Rider of the King dragon, thought that the Prince was about to select Rodney as his master and the next in line for the throne of Pegasus.

But the Prince dragon had only given young Rodney a look and a sniff before snorting at his father. The older dragon had given his son a large-toothed grin, then he had bestowed upon the silent and slightly scared child a large sapphire gem, which the boy had taken with shaking hands. It was an indicator magic, engineering as it was one of the purest of gems, and a strong soul as it shone brightly to reflect the power young Rodney even then possessed.

The audience had murmured with disappointment as the King dragon opened his jaws to complete the rite. It was a fluke, they had thought, Rodney would be strong but no prince. Then the Prince dragon had stepped forward, shoving a wing to stop his father as he took the older dragon's place, jaws agape.

Carefully, much more carefully than his father would have been, the Prince dragon lowered his open jaws to clasp gently on Rodney's left shoulder. The witnesses' had all shaken their heads at this showing of Rodney as a Consort, not the Lord they had expected in the brash child.

Then, suddenly, the Prince dragon had bit down hard, blood welling up from young Rodney's torn shoulder as he pulled back and screamed silently at the pain. The Prince dragon had inhaled and, before anyone could react, he had blown a puff of magic onto the wound, healing and causing the bite mark to scar instantly.

Without another look at the boy, the Prince dragon had flown off in a flurry of dust.

Not even King Jack had been able to get an answer out of the King dragon at his son's actions. Eventually, they had just given up.

But everyone soon knew that Rodney was special, different in some way. For some, this caused reverence. For others, it could jealous anger and resentment.

So, Rodney had grown and learned to hide his scar under thick outer robes. He learned to use his brain, to show people that he was worth more than marred flesh. He learned to use a loud voice and a belittling tone to cover his own insecurities.

Three years after the ceremony, the Prince dragon had chosen John Sheppard as his Rider and the kingdom had rejoiced. John Sheppard, now First Commander of the Dragonriders, had been named the heir to the throne, not Rodney.

No, Rodney had become a mage, and a damn good one.

And he was happy with that, he honestly was.

"Lady Elizabeth requested your presence," Radek was saying.

"What?" Rodney asked. "Why would she…" he trailed off, realizing suddenly.

Radek gave him a sympathetic look. "Do you want me to join you?" he offered. "I am just as much at fault as you."

"No," Rodney was quick to shake his head. "It was my project. Besides," he added as he looked out the laboratory window. "It's getting late. You should go home, your Lord might get angry."

"Evan does not–" Radek began to protest, but he cut himself off. "Goodnight, Rodney," he whispered instead. "And good luck."

Rodney said nothing as he left, but it took almost an hour before he mustered up the courage to go and face Elizabeth and the council.

"Mage McKay," Councilman Hammond greeted as the secretary let Rodney into the meeting room.

Rodney just nodded silently, not meeting any eyes. He could feel them staring at him. King Jack and his Consort Daniel were there, surrounded at the table by the councilmen Hammond, Landry, Woolsey, and Elizabeth Weir. Even the prince was present, but of course he was. When not off fighting, he was being prepared for his eventual takeover as King, which included the council meetings that had to go with running a kingdom.

"Mage McKay," Elizabeth began. "Do you know why you have been called before us?"

Rodney let out a breath he had not realized he'd been holding. He was nervous, he knew that, but he couldn't let it affect him. "Yes," he answered simply.

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow at him. "You are being charged with the destruction of millions of dollars and the loss of the life of a man under you. Do you accept these charges?"

Rodney winced and took a inhaled deeply, before nodding.

"Why did you abort the project?" Elizabeth asked slowly.

This must be hard for her, Rodney thought as he considered his answer. "The Arcturus Project was dangerous from the start. Though the readings seemed correct, the magic fluxuated every time the machine was turned on. It was unpredictable. The last test we ran," he paused, struggling at the painful memories, "the last test we ran caused the sudden death of the mage Peter Grodin by a sudden influx of magical outburst."

"Grodin's death was unfortunate," Woolsey cut in. "But the project could have destroyed the Wraith, and you destroyed it instead."

Rodney scowled at the councilman. "I had no choice!" he protested venomously. "The magic had become out of control, if I hadn't stopped it then it would have destroyed half the kingdom!"

"There is no proof," that was Landry, observant as always.

"No," Rodney deflated at the look in those eyes. The magical burst he had used to destroy the weapon had left nothing. It had taken a month for him to recover from the exhaustion of his soul because of it. "But I promise you, if the project was salvageable, I would have saved it. I spent years of my life on it."

Silence reigned after that statement. Finally, King Jack let out a sigh. "Is there anything else?" he asked, the question directed to both Elizabeth and Rodney.

Elizabeth shook her head, but Rodney just stared at the far wall, feeling both anger and great sadness well up inside of him.

The King sighed again, even more audibly this time. "Okay then, you are dismissed Mage McKay. We will inform you of our decision by the end of the week."

Rodney turned on his heels and left, barely noticing Consort Daniel's reassuring smile. He broke into a run as soon as the doors closed behind him and didn't stop until he reached the east pier.

The water of the Atlantean lake lapped at his dangling feet as he stared out at the setting sun and mourned at the death of a good friend. Elizabeth had a right to be angry at him, Peter had been her Consort. A good Consort, a good mage, a good friend. A better man than Rodney. Less deserving of the death he'd been given.

And it had been Rodney who'd badgered him into working on the project in the first place.

Rodney didn't know how long he sat out there, only that suddenly he realized the stars were shining in the sky and he was no longer alone.

Rodney spun to face the one standing behind him, jumping to his feet so fast that he lost his balance and began to topple backwards into the dark water.

The figure grasped his left wrist, pulling Rodney upright. "Careful," the man chuckled.

Rodney straightened, recognizing that voice. Prince John Sheppard stood in the moonlight, staring at him.

"I apologize, your highness," Rodney said, trying to muster up some sincerity. He did not apologize often.

Prince John's dark eyes glowed in the moonlight as he shook his head. "No formalities," he commanded softly. "Call me John."

Rodney blushed, realizing then that the prince, John, still hadn't let go of his wrist. He tugged it, just slightly.

John's eyes flashed and he tightened his grip. It was an invitation, in most circles. But John was Prince and First Commander of the Dragonriders. No, Rodney knew a command when he felt one.

With bewildered panic, Rodney let himself be dragged closer to John's body. The Lord wrapped his free arm around Rodney's waist, bending his head down a marginal amount so he stared straight into Rodney's blue eyes.

It was too much for Rodney to take. He wasn't a virgin, not for a long time, but it had been a while and never with someone even close to either John's status or level of magical power. Rodney could just feel the strength of it roll of the prince in waves, caressing his body even as John's lips found his own.

But why him? Why now? Rodney knew he hadn't made a positive impression in the council room, why had the prince come to him?

Rodney let himself be ravished there standing on the pier. He barely moved under the feel of John's lips, his stomach a knot of confusion and worry and guilt.

He didn't protest as John suddenly stopped, but neither did he protest as the Rider walked them both to his suite. He barely registered as his clothes were stripped from his body, didn't really notice as he was lowered onto a large bed.

It was as if his mind had left him. There was no thought, no discoveries and theories whispering in the back of his thoughts. There was just… nothing. He was unresponsive, floating in a haze of calm detachment.

John paused, hovering over his unmoving body. "Rodney," he said, voice low. "Give me your permission."

Rodney blinked at that, mind slowly trying to process John's words. Permission? Why would the prince need to ask permission?

"Rodney," John said again, but this time his tone was that of a command.

Rodney took a shuddering breath and nodded once.

That was all it took for John to descend on him again, mouth and hands working simultaneously. He slowed, studying the scars still visible on Rodney's left shoulder, but they did not hold his attention long.

When, finally, later, he entered Rodney's body, Rodney submitted to it, haze still swirling around him. John grabbed Rodney's cock, bringing him to a jolted release just before the prince found his own. The Rider collapsed, then, on Rodney's sweaty chest, head still raised and watching.

Rodney fell asleep with John on top of him, slipping into the land of dreams easier than he had in years.

ooo

"They are letting you off," Radek's voice was a mix of joy and disbelief.

Rodney nodded, having just heard the news himself. He couldn't help the relief that spread through his whole body.

"Supposedly, Prince John and Consort Daniel were the most vocal in their defense of you," Miko Kusanagi, the deliverer of the news, said with the smile of a gossip. "But even Lady Elizabeth said that she did not wish for you to be punished."

"She did?" Rodney was stunned. He thought for sure…

"She knows it was not your fault, Rodney," Miko said softly. "It was no one's fault."

Miko would know, she had been there after all.

"Congratulations, Rodney," Radek said. "And Miko is right. Even the Lady agrees, you should stop with this blaming of yourself."

"I'm–" Rodney started.

"No, you listen to me," Radek cut him off. "You are an amazing person, arrogant yes, but you are the most brilliant mage I know and I know many. Stop. Blaming. Yourself."

And with that, Radek took Miko and left.

The rest of the day found Rodney sitting on the east pier. He had not gone there since that night, five days ago, when the Prince had found him. He'd woken up alone that morning after and hadn't seen John since.

But Rodney wasn't thinking of him now. He was thinking of Peter and Elizabeth and Radek and Arcturus.

For the first time in over a year, Rodney could remember the project without the weight of guilt crushing him.

He felt free.

ooo

"You are coming to see the demonstration, yes?" Radek said, stopping by Rodney's main lab.

Rodney blinked up at him. "What?" he asked, but didn't stay up long to hear the answer. He ducked back under the mass of machinery, attempting to figure out how the convulsions affected the weaving of magic in the pumping device.

Radek tapped on the side, forced Rodney to come back again. "The demonstration, Rodney, half the city will be there," he sighed in what must have been exasperation.

"Oh," Rodney searched his brain. Right, the Dragonriders were giving a demonstration of their prowess. Rodney had been avoiding the hype all week.

"You must come," Radek told him. "You have not left you lab in three days!"

"This is important," Rodney protested. "I'm saving lives here." An over exaggeration and they both knew it. The machine Rodney had been tinkering with was just something to alleviate the boredom while his mind began to tackle some of the most difficult theories on his list to prove.

"Sure," Radek rolled his eyes. "Still, you are coming with me."

And so, kicking and screaming, Radek took Rodney to the demonstration. They managed to get fairly good seats in the large stadium because of their status as some of the kingdom's chief mages. The crowd was wild with excitement, anticipation evident in the air.

Finally, at last, out of the sky a colorful parade of wings could be seen. The Dragonriders swooped down from all directions, majestically diving and gliding over the audience. Rodney watched them, in awe despite himself, until a roar caught his attention and held it. A huge dragon dominated his vision as it's massive wings took it into the center of the stadium.

Rodney barely remembered his ceremonial rite, but he could never forget the creature whose mark he still wore.

The Prince dragon flipped up and dove down, exciting the spectators as his rider stood upon his back, reigns in one hand, a single red rose in the other.

Rodney watched the man whom with he'd shared a bed several weeks before as the Rider performed gracefully under the eyes of half the city. Rodney even felt himself begin to get caught up in the movements, wondering what the prince and his dragon would dare to do next.

Until a final finale of color and light ripped gasps of joy out of the spectators lips. Then, the prince finished the show with a graceful ark, his Second and Third Commanders mimicking him on either side.

Rodney noticed, out of the corner of his eye, Lord Evan bowing to Radek who blushed besides him. But most of the crowd had their attention on the prince, who lifted the rose in his hand and threw it with a jab of his wrist.

To the civilians, it probably looked to be a random toss, but to all the magic-wielders it was a directed path, the rose being lifted by a powerful force that sent it directly to the stands.

Directly into Rodney's lap.

The fans surrounding him glared at their missed chance as Rodney lifted the rose with shaking fingers. It wasn't actually a flower, he could tell that immediately. The petals were made of red dragon claws, he deduced quickly, and the stem of a white fang.

Rodney looked up, both human and dragon Prince staring straight at him.

It was too much for him to handle. Ignoring Radek's shout of protest, Rodney fled the stadium.

ooo

Rodney managed to avoid John for five days. Then the prince cornered him in his lab and he knew he was caught.

"Did I offend you?" John asked as he stalked closer to Rodney.

Rodney shook his head wordlessly, frozen in spot.

John frowned. He stepped closer.

Rodney's mind caught up with him and he blushed, dropping the device he'd been working on onto the table. "I was not offended, you highness," Rodney said carefully, wondering if in fact he had offended the Rider. "Simply honored, too honored actually. I don't know what I did to deserve such a gift."

"Did?" John frowned deeper. "You just don't get it, do you McKay?"

Rodney started at the use of his last name. He shook his head again, very confused.

John sighed and ran a hand through his messy hair. "It's like this," he closed the distance between them then. "I really really like you," his breath was hot on Rodney's lips and Rodney fought to stay still, not to retreat.

"With all due respect," Rodney said, his automatic defense flaring in his sarcastic tone. "You don't know me."

John chuckled. "No?" he said. "Maybe not, but I know more of you than you think."

Rodney did take a step back at that. "But–"

"I know you hate to be ignored, but don't wish for the amount of attention you received as a child. I know you doubt yourself and your abilities because you were not chosen to be a Rider, and I know you think your friends only like you for your power," John was slowly but surely backing Rodney into the corner of the lab as he talked. "I know you are jealous of your sister, but angry at her for the life she gave up. I know you were in love with Lady Sam Carter until she was killed in a Wraith attack and I know that you're lonely. I know that you're allergic to bees and citrus fruits, that you comfort yourself by eating, and that you avoid the world by working. I know that you have stopped hoping, stopped dreaming of a better life for yourself."

At some point, Rodney realized that he had closed his eyes, trying to shut out that low voice as it reverberated through his ears.

"I know," John Sheppard had Rodney pinned now, "that my dragon loves you. I know so much about you Rodney, but I don't know enough because every little thing I've learned just makes me more and more addicted."

Rodney opened his eyes, wide and dazed. "I'm not," Rodney licked his lips at the burning in John's eyes. "I don't deserve–"

John slammed his palms on either side of Rodney's head and leaned close. He was angry now, Rodney could tell even as he tried to figure out why.

"Strip," the prince commanded and his tone held no room for protest.

Rodney couldn't move, couldn't think. He didn't understand why someone like John wanted him. Didn't understand why he was so upset.

John growled and took a hand off the wall, ripping away Rodney's robes. In no time, Rodney found himself naked and vulnerable to John's roaming gaze.

Then, he was being turned around and told to brace himself against the wall.

John entered him with little preparation, causing a burn to spread through Rodney's lower body as he was forced to quickly adjust. Rodney gasped against the pain as John thrust in him, once, twice. Three times.

Rodney lost count, his own erection straining up and tears dripping down his face. He was hard, oh so hard even under the brutal treatment.

He wondered, briefly, if he had in fact been wooed by the gift.

John came into Rodney and, with a sound much like a roar, he bit down on Rodney's shoulder, covering a different bite scar.

He pulled out of Rodney the same time his teeth broke skin and Rodney gasped as sharp pain flared up. John unclenched his jaw and stepped away.

Rodney didn't turn, didn't move as he heard John's breath hitch. He could already feel the bruises form over his body even as the path of blood trickled down from the wound.

And then John left without a word.

Rodney rested his head against the cold wall and brought a hand down to jerk himself off.

ooo

John didn't come looking for him again, and Rodney immersed himself in his work. Three months after their first meeting on the pier, the Dragonriders were called away to fight. The Wraith had raided a border town called Athosia and the town leader Teyla had been desperate for help.

Radek was, as usual, distraught.

For the first time, Rodney felt a ghost of the same emotion course through him and he wondered why.

Rodney couldn't get John out of his thoughts, now that he was gone. He denied it for several weeks, but that couldn't last forever.

He began to ask questions, do his own research.

John rarely took a companion, his sources told him. Never showed much interest in anyone. He was an extremely well respected commander, popular with most everyone. His heroics against the Wraith were widespread, his personal life was not.

It was Radek that told him the most surprising. All things he'd probably learned from his Lord, a close friend as well as Second to the prince.

John liked the ocean, he liked going so fast he could barely breath; he loved his people and his dragon equally.

And he loved an unknown mage whom Evan hadn't been told the name of. A Consort with a brilliant mind and amazing blue eyes. A Consort he'd hurt, John had told Evan, and who would likely never forgive him.

Rodney learned all this, and he found himself thirsting for more. But John was gone, and it didn't seem like he'd be back anytime soon.

He wanted to ask his own questions, make his own assumptions to the man's face.

He no longer had the chance.

The Riders were gone for half a year. After rescuing the town, they and the army had gone on to push the Wraith back and into their own territory. It had caught the Wraith by surprise, as did the biomagical weapon that Rodney, Radek, Carson Beckett, and countless others had been working on ever since the Arcturus Project failed.

Their absence was long, but when the Dragonriders finally came home it was with the head of the Queen Wraith and the empire in ruins. It was to victory celebrations and daylong parties. It was to the end of a ten thousand year war.

Rodney had contemplated John, his life, and his own feelings for six months, tossing and turning in his bed until his eyes caught the dragon-made rose on his nightstand. When he wasn't working, he was sitting on the pier, rose clasped tightly in his left hand. Right hand stroking the new scar that had formed from the bite John had given him.

The night of the day the Dragonriders had returned, Rodney crept into the dragon stable and sat down next to a dragon he knew better than he should.

Said dragon curled its tail around him, head on its claws and eyes open.

"I think I love him," Rodney said into the silence. "I don't know why. I mean, I wasn't exactly willing." Rodney chocked at the thought. "But I wasn't really unwilling either. He's so much stronger than I am. You know. Every bit the Lord you made him."

The dragon watched him silently.

Rodney huffed. "He, he's been watching me for a while, right? But I wouldn't let him get close. I didn't let anyone get close."

The dragon blinked once in agreement.

Rodney leaned towards the creature's head and reached out a cautious hand. "I blame you. But you know that, don't you?"

The dragon snorted and his head rose. He touched his snout to Rodney's left shoulder, eyes the same dark as his master's.

Rodney smiled into the darkness and stood.

A few minutes found him at the door to John's suite. He knocked only once and it was opened, John's surprise evident on his face.

"Rodney–" John began, but Rodney was already letting himself in. He walked slowly to the bed, touching the sheets with a hand that had spent six months holding the present the prince had bestowed upon him.

John touched to door to close it and approached him, slowly, hesitantly.

Rodney turned to him, eyes bright.

"I'm sorry," John said, eyes full of so much hurt that it took Rodney's breath away.

"I know," Rodney said. He bit his lip, looking down then back up. "I can't really say it's okay. I'm not okay. You hurt me."

John nodded, his entire appearance defeated. "I won't bother you again. I just hope," he paused, struggling. "I hope you maybe can forgive me someday."

Rodney stood there and in that moment he made his decision. He stepped closer and buried his face into John's neck. He relaxed only when John's arms wrapped around him, holding him tight.

"Rodney-," John cut himself off and lowered his face into Rodney's hair.

Rodney smiled and breathed in that smell that was purely John. "Someday," he agreed.

ooo

The next time, when John moved against Rodney, Rodney moved back. His mind was hazed over, but it was with passion and lust and love and all he could think of was John.

And as John shuddered through his climax, whispering "I love you" against his lips, well Rodney couldn't imagine anywhere he'd rather be.

The next day, Rodney woke to John's arms encasing him. He was warm and safe, but most of all loved.

John kissed him good morning, eyes boring into him. And Rodney could honestly admit that he was happy.

Three months later, a year since the first night on the pier, John claimed Rodney as his official Consort.

And, once again, the Kingdom rejoiced.


	6. The Twelve Sleepy Scientists

**Title: **The Twelve Sleepy Scientists  
**Summary: **Twelve of the most brilliant scientists of Atlantis have been acting very strangely lately and Queen Elizabeth tasks a strange wanderer to find out why. The reward: choosing one of them to be his bride.  
**Genres: **AU, Fairytale Crack  
**Pairing: **Sheppard/McKay  
**Rating: **T  
**Warnings: **Crack!Fic  
**Notes: **A variation of The Twelve Dancing Princesses, for the Once Upon a Time prompt in stargateland.

* * *

Queen Elizabeth of the Kingdom of Atlantis was a wise ruler, but a weary one. She had been the leader of Atlantis for a great many years and soon wished to choose an heir to take over the throne. Since the queen had no children of her own, she had chosen twelve scientists to be potential rulers.

The scientists, after all, were the most intelligent in the land.

Except, as she began to try to figure out which scientist would be best, she noticed that they all were acting very strange. Just the other night, Radek had fallen asleep in the middle of a meeting. Peter had taken a nap in the middle of the day, something he never did. And Rodney had waved away blue jello in favor of crappy coffee.

Blue jello!

Queen Elizabeth needed to figure out why her scientists were all so sleepy. Luckily, just then a strange wanderer appeared in the kingdom. She invited him into court, curious about his hair that defied gravity and quirky smile.

"Welcome, stranger, I am Queen Elizabeth," she said. "And you are?"

"John," the stranger said.

"John?" Elizabeth. "The Wraith-killer, leader of the last great war for the Pegasus kingdom?"

"Yeah," John rubbed the back of his neck. "That's me."

Elizabeth had a brilliant idea just then. Hey, she might not be a scientist, but she wasn't stupid. "You must have been wandering for a long time, your previous home destroyed by the Wraith…"

John frowned, wondering where the queen was going with this. "Yeah, something like that."

"Well, John," Elizabeth said. "I'm willing to offer you a home on Atlantis, if you'll just do one thing for me."

"What thing?" John asked suspiciously.

"I have a mystery," Elizabeth said. "My twelve heirs, the best scientists on the city, have been unusually tired lately. Find out why, and you can even choose one of them to marry and live in this kingdom for the rest of your days."

John thought that perhaps the queen was a little crazy and really needed to retire soon. He kept that to himself though, because hey he could swing this mission. He'd solved worse in his sleep.

"You've got yourself a deal."

That night, John decided that he really didn't care to start finding out the mystery right away and so slept in the warm bed. The next morning, the queen asked him if he'd figured out the mystery yet.

"Give me a little time," he said. She frowned, but nodded.

The next night, John gulped down some coffee and began to wander the city-kingdom, looking for the scientists. He spotted one, the reputed most brilliant scientist Rodney, looking around.

John hid in a corner and watched Rodney out of the corner of his eye. One part of him noticed the man's gorgeously geeky appearance, but most of him was set on figuring out where the man was going so secretively.

The thing is, John was the leader of the Pegasus army against the Wraith. This kingdom, they were protected behind a shield and had never been touched by war. It wasn't very hard for John to follow Rodney. He barely even needed to walk quietly.

Soon enough, John found himself turning the corner into a secret room of the kingdom. There, all twelve scientists were puttering around.

A short crazy-haired scientist and a handsome scientist were tinkering with a miny flying machine. Next to them, two thin scientists cooed over a strange planet. In the corner, five scientists were muttering over calculations on a board.

And Rodney. Well Rodney was as brilliant as his title suggested. Simultaneously, he fixed a strange glowing crystal, shouted to the planet-watchers, erased and fixed the calculations, and added a subset wiring to the flying machine.

"Really?" John frowned, stepping into the room. "This is boring. I was expecting some sort of state secret, or maybe dancing princes, or something."

All the scientists stared at him in shock.

John sighed. "My name is John. I'm a guest in the kingdom. The queen asked me to find out why you guys were so sleepy all the time. Apparently, you're all workaholics."

"The Wraith-killer," one of the scientists in the back whispered. He though she might be called Miko.

John resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"You," Rodney pointed a finger at John. John couldn't help but notice that the blue-eyed scientist seemed a bit taken aback by his laid-back appearance. "You shouldn't be here."

"Why?" John asked, leaning against the door frame. Rodney's eyes widened and he hid his grin. That always worked.

The scientists all turned red and exchanged shameful glanced. "Because we're not supposed to be here." Radek, or at least John assumed that was the short one, said.

"Why?" John asked again.

"Labs are closed after dark," Peter, the handsome one, crossed his arms. "To prevent us from overworking ourselves."

"But we had to!" David said, besides him, his plant-partner Katie nodded.

"What?" John shook his head. "Can't you just do this during the day? I mean, you're scientists aren't you?"

"Yes, we're scientists," another back scientist, Alison, frowned. "That's not the point."

"What is the point?" John asked. "You're scientists, you do this stuff every day all day, and now you suddenly feel the need to do it at night too? Sleep isn't just something you can choose to do… it's kind of necessary."

"You don't understand!" Radek cried.

"Elizabeth named us her heirs," Peter explained. "Whomever she choses to succeed her, that person will no longer be able to work."

"Ruling is work," John pointed out.

"Exactly right," Rodney interjected. "Ruling is it's own work. Leaving no time for the work that really matters-"

"That we really enjoy," David cut in.

"Science!" Rodney finished, glaring at David for interrupting him.

"Well, Rodney," John said. "I thought you were a genius. The most brilliant of the scientists? Couldn't you do science and rule the kingdom?"

Rodney scowled. "You can't trick me, John. Yes, I am a genius, but I don't want to waste my time listening to the stupid problems the people come up with that are in no way a challenge to my genius-ness."

John raised a eyebrow. "What if you had someone else to listen to those 'stupid' problems in your stead? Then you could still work on your science. And," he turned to the other scientists, "with Rodney as the ruler, he would be in your hair less. You know, just when it's important."

"YES!" Came the cries of the other scientists.

"But who?" Katie asked. "Who would marry Rodney?"

"Hmm," John sighed dramatically. "Well, I suppose for the sake of the kingdom, I could."

Rodney gaped, blinking his big blue eyes in shock. "I, you, what?"

"The queen already offered me one of your hands in marriage if I figured this mystery out," John shrugged. "What do you say, Rodney? Will you be my wife?"

"W-," Rodney sputtered. "No, I will not be your wife!"

John deflated suddenly, his plan having counted on the looks he'd been so sure Rodney had been sending his way. "Oh."

"Rodney!" Miko burst into tears.

"Are you stupid, man," Brendan scowled. "Do you even see how hot he is?"

John preened slightly, but it wasn't them that he cared about, it was the most brilliant blue-eyed scientist. "No, it's okay. I'm sure there are others in the kingdom that would be happy to marry you and solve your little problem."

"Would you all shut up," Rodney scowled. "I won't be your wife, John. I'm not a fuc-" he cast a glance in Miko's direction, "-freaking girl!"

"I get to plan the wedding!" Alison said.

"Me too, me too," Katie clapped her hands.

"Well, f-" John began.

"Fun!" Rodney interrupted immediately, pulling John aside. "Don't say the F-word," he hissed. "Miko's sensitive."

"Scientists are weird," John said, shaking his head.

Rodney scowled again. John was beginning to think it was his default expression.

Well, John thought. That ass makes up for all of it. Then he kissed Rodney on the lips.

And they lived happily ever scientists.

(Except John, who spent his days listening to the not quite stupid problems of the people and then later dragging his husband away from the lab to take back to the room and—

Well, this story is only PG-13, so.

Let's just stick with Happily Ever After.)


	7. Escape

**Title: **Escape  
**Summary: **When the Genii succeed in taking over Atlantis, John must come to terms not only with his stranded expedition, but also with how his growing feelings for Rodney are suddenly tested to the point of breaking. Meanwhile, the city herself watches in horror at the destruction that approaches.  
**Genres: **Canon Divergence, Angst with a Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort  
**Pairing: **Sheppard/McKay  
**Rating: **M  
**Warnings: **Off-Screen Rape, Off-Screen Torture, Character Death (not John or Rodney)  
**Notes: **This story is written non-linearally, so try not to get confused.

* * *

John coughed into the air and then winced as the pain from his constricting stomach set in once more. He knew, intellectually, that he was hungry, but his body was past actually feeling hunger.

He figured he had a couple more days before he died of thirst.

The walls around him moved in, a mirage of exhaustion, but John wouldn't let himself fall asleep until Rodney was returned to him. Hopefully, by then, he would be able to slip into dreamless sleep, but he doubted it.

At the very least, Rodney's constant nightmares would wake him up periodically until he got his scientist settled down again.

Not that he'd had much luck helping Rodney. He was useless, stuck in this small room, sitting or standing on the cold floor, just waiting.

Endlessly waiting.

He heard a noise and turned towards the door, but it didn't open and after a few minutes, John turned back to the bare walls. He'd been trained by the Air Force to entertain himself in hostage situations. It was a common tactic to leave prisoners stewing and by the time they finally came it was almost nice to talk about anything and everything.

But his solitude wasn't an interrogation tactic. It was neglect.

It was torture.

John took in a deep breath, his lungs on fire in his chest. He ignored that and instead touched the bare grey walls of his holding room, trying once more to feel her.

Atlantis was silent under his fingers.

-._.-._.-._.-

"We have secured the remaining three hunters, Major," Teyla said through the radio. "Doctor Beckett is bringing the puddlejumper to the gate now."

"Great," John replied. "Enjoy Manara, try not to have too much fun without us."

"I still don't like it, sir," Ford stated. "I think I should stay with you and Dr. McKay."

"Dr. Weir is here also, Lieutenant," John said. "Think of it as a day off. Dr. Zelenka is sure of this plan and you know McKay, if anything goes wrong he can handle it."

"I am simply glad that the hunters had already been on their way back to the settlement," Teyla interjected. "Our people go sometimes on month long hunting trips."

"They were early?" John shrugged. "That's lucky."

"Not early," Carson said. "One of the poor lads had sprained his ankle a day into their outing and they had to head back."

"We'll you'll get him fixed up, Doc," John said.

"Do you have everything you need here in case the storm lasts, sir?" Ford asked.

"We're good," John told him. "Remember to tell the Manara leader what I said."

"Will do," Ford agreed.

Carson coughed. "If you don't mind, Major, I'm not so sure I can hold the jumper here for too much longer."

"Go," John told him. "Try not to hit the gate on your way out."

"We shall see you tomorrow, John," Teyla said.

John clicked the radio off and went to go find Elizabeth and Rodney. The door to the control room opened as he neared and John stepped through. "Hey, the last jumper is on its way."

"Just us now," Elizabeth smiled. "Good. Okay, Rodney, what do we have to do?"

"Okay," Rodney flipped his data pad around so they could see. "There are grounding stations here, here, and here…"

-._.-._.-._.-

The door to the room slid open. John was standing even before he could see the people on the other side, but he knew there would be a gun pointed at him.

He was right. The Genii soldier trained the gun to his chest as he threw Rodney back into the room by the arm. John wanted to rush immediately to the scientist, but he knew that if he gave the soldier any excuse at all, the man would shoot, and John couldn't leave Rodney alone.

The soldier scowled and shifted, the door sliding closed. John stepped towards Rodney the minute he could no longer see the gun. "Hey," he murmured, wincing internally at how… bland the word seemed. "No luck, huh?"

Rodney didn't answer. His eyes were unfocused and he shivered, one hand clasping the wound on his arm. John knew he should probably redress it, the Genii had completely mangled the muscles and tendons.

He reached towards the scientist and Rodney flinched back.

John growled low in his throat, burning with the need to take revenge for the man he cared for far too much. He pushed it down, unable to do anything now except comfort Rodney.

"It wasn't your fault," he said first, because he'd heard once that was a common delusion by victims of-

"It wasn't your fault," he repeated.

Rodney didn't seem to hear him. John turned on his heels and walked to the corner of the room, punching the wall to let out his rage, but all it did was hurt his fist and give him guilt that he'd punched Atlantis.

Shivering himself, John turned back to Rodney. The scientist hadn't moved.

"Come on, Rodney," John cooed softly. "Let's lie down, go to sleep."

Rodney didn't reply, didn't even show that he'd heard John talk, long enough that John had begun to think he would need to take more drastic measures to snap him out of his shock, but then slowly he nodded and promptly collapsed to the floor where he was.

John lowered himself next to him, far enough away that Rodney wouldn't feel threatened, but close enough to help if it was needed. "Sleep, Rodney," he murmured.

He watched silently as Rodney's breaths evened out and deepened, his face was still screwed up in pain and panic and fear and it had John's heart racing with too many emotions.

The lights flicked off suddenly and John let out a soft sigh. He didn't know what this room was originally meant for, but he'd learned that the lights were automatic, turning on and off in perfect sleep intervals.

Still he cursed it, no longer able to see Rodney's face, to torture himself more with guilt that he could do nothing to ease that pain.

For a long time, John thought about their options and then his mind moved to nightmares before he could stop it. Different ways they all could die. Starving to death as he was… John couldn't stand it. He wondered if he should give the guard an excuse to shoot him.

He imagined it for a bit, how nice it would be to just go quickly. Just a shot in the chest and it would be all over.

Then Rodney whimpered and he snapped back to reality. He couldn't leave Rodney. Not for anything, even the peace of death.

After all, the reason he'd stayed alive for so long… the reason he kept fighting again and again was to atone for the deaths he'd inadvertently and sometimes directly caused.

He knew that if he gave up, so too would Rodney. What was left of that spark in his eyes would leave and John couldn't do that to the man who yelled and screamed and shouted his arrogance to the world. Rodney was too special.

Without Rodney, Atlantis would fall.

John sighed and turned over, facing in Rodney's direction. The darkness was an ocean between them, and still he searched as if he'd be able to see the scientist's curled form.

Eventually, his exhaustion overtook him and John fell into uneasy sleep.

-._.-._.-._.-

"Let me tell you what you did wrong here, Kolya," John spoke into the radio, adrenaline still rushing through his system and wind rustling his hair into more of a mess than it usually was.

He thought he could hear a gasp come over the radio and he doubted it was the Genii commander. Rodney, he thought.

But he couldn't think of Rodney then, it would only distract him.

"A), you lost two of your men. B), You damaged the switch before I could separate the grounding rods, which I'm sure you're gonna get an earful from McKay for," and that had John thinking of Rodney… He shook himself. "And C), you lost all of what little credibility you had with me."

He could hear Rodney ranting from the other side of the radio and his lips quirked. They dropped back into a frown as he heard Kolya's voice come on clearer. "You killed two of my men."

"I guess we're even," John told him.

"I don't like even," Kolya hissed back.

John shifted, eyes surveying the two dead men on the ground, then the shot grounding station, and then the storm that was spraying at him. "I'm not finished yet."

He wouldn't be. Not until Rodney and Elizabeth were out of Kolya's grasp and the city was safe.

"Neither am I," Kolya told him. "Say goodbye to Dr. Weir."

He wouldn't. He wouldn't actually kill Elizabeth, John told himself. But no, he couldn't be sure of Kolya's nature, only that he was sounding more and more like men John had run into in the past, men that enjoyed their control over others too much to care about the rules of decent war.

"This city has a self-destruct button. If you hurt her, I'll activate it. Nobody'll get Atlantis!" John threatened.

Kolya's reply was immediate. "Even if it exists, Major, you need at least two senior personnel to activate it… And I'm about to take one of them out of the equation."

"No!" that was Rodney. There was the sound of cloth rustling and bodies moving and John struggled to picture what was going on. "You can't do this. This is crazy. You need her."

"I don't believe you, Dr. McKay," Kolya said. "Stand aside."

"You can't kill her!" Rodney yelled. "I'm not kidding. There are codes required to activate the shield, codes that only she knows. You can't do it without her."

There was a brief pause and then. "Well, you can't do this without me either. I mean, we're a package deal. I mean, you take us out of the equation, and you don't have an end game. Granted, that's a chess term. My point is, we're the only ones who can fix the grounding station."

"I won't kill you, Dr. McKay. Not yet," Kolya said. "Stand. Aside."

"We're the only ones who can activate the shield. We're the only ones that can solve problems I can't even think of yet. You kill either one of us, and you don't get what you want! That's how important we are. It's impor-"

Rodney's voice was breaking, as if he was about to cry, and John swallowed hard because he already knew what the end game was.

No.

"Hold onto him," Kolya snapped.

"Kolya? Kolya! I'll give you a ship! I'll fly it out of here for you myself!" John pleaded as he heard Rodney yelling in the background. "Kolya!"

Then the all-too familiar sound of a gunshot cracked through the water-ridden air and John closed his eyes.

"ELIZABETH!" Rodney screamed.

"I'm going to kill you," John promised, the cool calm that he'd come to associated with his most dangerous rage spreading through him like a storm of its own.

-._.-._.-._.-

John woke like the snap of a rubber band, one minute asleep and the next fully alert. He kept his eyes closed and his breathing even, using his other senses to figure out what had woken him.

There was a soft sound, almost a whimper, and John relaxed just slightly. He turned over onto his side, eyes blindly pointing in Rodney's direction. "Rodney," he whispered.

Rodney's cries became more muffled, as if he'd curled up on himself to escape the humiliation of John seeing him. The first couple of nights, John had let him, but he couldn't do that anymore.

He couldn't stand to see Rodney suffering.

John scooted on the cold metal floor. "Face me, Rodney. Look at me, please."

He could see the outline of Rodney's body in the dark as Rodney shook his head. John sighed. "I'm going to touch you, okay, don't be afraid." He reached forward slowly and grasped Rodney by the shoulder.

Rodney's muscles flinched under his arm and his whole body froze. John took a chance and pulled Rodney around so that they were facing each other. He reached a hand for Rodney's face and pulled his arm away from it.

"John," Rodney said brokenly.

"I'm here," John reassured him. "Come here, it's me."

Rodney didn't move, so John moved for them, wrapping his arms around Rodney loosely and holding him. After a moment, the scientist unfroze and began to shiver again, and then his head came to rest in the crook of John's neck and John felt wet tears begin to drip down his shoulder.

His hatred for Kolya grew again, surpassing even his own expectations made in the hour after Elizabeth had been killed. It still hurt, thinking about her, and he supposed that might never stop hurting. She'd been one of the best commanders he'd ever had, and one of the few he could call friend.

But all the events that had followed Elizabeth's death had begun to overshadow that catalyst event and now his rage was fueled not by her untimely demise, but by the physical and emotional pain Kolya had caused and continued to cause Rodney.

Everything came back to Rodney.

"You must think I'm really pathetic," Rodney said, his voice muffled by John's body.

"No," John told him, squeezing his arms as tightly as he dared. "Never. This isn't pathetic." His throat dried and his next words came out so softly that he wasn't even sure Rodney could hear him, but he had to try. "Kolya's the pathetic one. He has to take what he would never be able to get and he'll never understand what it's supposed to mean."

"Atlantis is too beautiful to stay under his control," Rodney's head pressed closer to John's neck and John responded by shifting closer to Rodney's body.

And though he hadn't been talking about Atlantis, or at least not just about her, he couldn't say that. He'd always had a hard time talking about his feelings, even in normal circumstances. The circumstance they were in was anything but normal.

"I should…" Rodney began, pulling away.

"No, please," John begged, tightening his arms. "Let me take care of you, like this." His pressed his nose to Rodney's blood-matted hair and closed his eyes. "Please, Rodney."

Rodney's response was slow coming, but eventually he nodded and John relaxed. He wanted to say so much, then. He wanted to show Rodney, to prove to him that he didn't think him weak or pathetic or deserving at all of what Kolya did again and again. He wanted to tell him that he loved him.

By the time he opened his mouth to say anything, Rodney had relaxed back into sleep and John couldn't let himself wake him.

At least, with Rodney in his arms, he felt stronger than he had since he'd first been put in this damn room.

-._.-._.-._.-

"Major Sheppard," Kolya said. "I have a proposition for you."

John's vision black out for a brief second and then he contained himself. "Kolya I'm having a hard time keeping up. What's the score again?"

"My men have informed me that not only have you disabled some crucial generators, but you've stolen key components which make it impossible for them to be restored," Kolya stated.

"Yeah, I did that."

"There are two flaws in your plan."

"I'm always open to constructive criticism."

"One, the assumption I would believe you'd rather destroy the city than let it fall to us is childish."

"Doesn't sound like me."

"Second, if and when I determine Atlantis unsalvageable, Dr. McKay becomes obsolete."

John stopped short. He wanted to argue, to tell himself that Kolya wouldn't do that.

He'd already done that once and now Elizabeth was dead.

"What do you want?" he heard himself asking.

"We have less than one hour before the storm hits full-force. If the power is not returned to grounding station three within the next ten minutes, Dr. McKay dies," Kolya said. "We will then leave with what we can, and the city will be destroyed."

"Well, that's not enough time!" John protested immediately.

He could practically hear Kolya's smirk as he said his final offer. "If you don't mind destroying Atlantis, stay where you are for the next ten minutes…starting now."

John didn't know where his speed came from, but he made it to the generator and activated it within the first few minutes, his mental dialogue deadly silent as he ducked around the doorway and escaped from the room they would all now know he'd just been in.

He was only two hallways away from the control chair, and that was where he went next. The door slid open for him as if it had been waiting and he stepped inside. He knew too well that now that the power was back on, it wouldn't be too long before Rodney finished fixing the power station and then Kolya would make him activate the shield around the city and then he'd be obsolete.

They'd both be, but John had never cared much for his own life except in the way that if he died, he wouldn't be able to protect Rodney.

The possibility of Rodney dying burned like the Afghani sun on his back, unceasingly painful. He thought perhaps that, were Rodney to die, he too would lose the only part of himself he liked anymore.

How many months had it been since they'd come to this fine city? Since he'd met Dr. Rodney McKay? Since he'd learned to like that part of himself again?

John sat down on the control chair and closed his eyes as it turned and leaned back. Immediately, it was as if his mind was being flooded with sensory information – anticipation and fear of the storm to come, anger at the invaders, and a brush of sadness for those who'd died before it faded.

"Atlantis," he murmured in sudden realization. He'd felt her before, but faintly and never like that had just been.

There was a tug and John tried to follow it, only to lose the connection a moment later. The tug came back. He grabbed onto it, trying to tether it to himself as it got weaker and weaker.

"Come on," John said.

There was a blast of light behind his eyes, as if he'd found the light at the end of the tunnel, and then he could feel her inside him.

She murmured sweet nothings, sparks of emotion and blasts onto his senses before fading again. He tried to ask her what was wrong, but all was silent. And yet, it was as if she'd heard him anyways as she pulled him to her core.

Three power sources lit up like stars, before flashing to show the reality. One, almost depleted ZPM.

He tried to apologize, to say they were trying, and she soothed him. It was her turn to ask him what was wrong.

John's mind flashed to Rodney's bright blue eyes and his crooked smile, then Kolya's voice drifted in his ear and the city shook with anger.

She told him that she would help however she could. That she trusted him to find her more power. That they would rescue her other leader.

Leader? John asked.

She answered that only with a hint of contentment that quickly disappeared.

How do I save you? John asked then. You and Rodney.

The image of the gate flashed in his mind, and then Ladon cheering as he overrode John's protocols. Atlantis seethed in his mind.

Close it, he told her. Close the gate. Keep it closed. Can you do that?

Of course, she seemed to say and then the image of Ladon scowling flashed as he tried to activate the gate only for it to fail.

John grinned. Great, keep it closed, no matter what happens.

Atlantis touched his mind, as if she wanted to say that would be all she could do. She feared for him, him and Rodney.

He reached for her, accepting and understanding her worries, and then let her go.

The chair turned back and sat up and John opened his eyes to an empty room. He checked the radio and winced, wondering how much time had passed. Clutching his suddenly pounding head, John staggered out of the control room and back in the direction of the main command center.

He was just turning the corner around the generator station he'd recently repaired when he found himself facing two guns.

"Shit," John cursed. He should have gone a different way, but it was too late to change that now. He put up his hands, taking them off his P-90.

One of the guards spoke into his radio, "Sora, we have him."

"Good," Sora said through the radio. "Bring him to the gateroom. The commander has told us to fall back to the central tower."

The guard nodded, though Sora wouldn't be able to see. "Understood."

John closed his eyes, hoping Atlantis would hold the gate, and let them take his vest away.

At least, he thought, he'd get to see Rodney one last time before he was killed. After all, there would be no reason to keep him alive, not when he'd already killed over seventy of Kolya's men.

-._.-._.-._.-

John woke to Rodney shifting in his arms. "Morning," he said.

Rodney sighed and moved away. John reluctantly opened his arms to let him go. "Hi."

Sitting up, John surveyed Rodney's blotched face. There were dark bags under his eyes and a large wound on his forehead that had scabbed over by now. It still had John's heart clenching in his chest and he moved his eyes to Rodney's own.

Rodney watched him silently, his gaze sharper now than it had been last night. "You're sick."

"I'm starving," John argued. "Not sick."

Rodney winced and nodded. John knew that he'd been getting food, that Kolya used food as a reward when he didn't struggle. He didn't blame Rodney for it, but he knew Rodney would continue to feel guilty.

"You know, I'm bisexual," Rodney said suddenly. "I probably shouldn't tell you that-"

"You don't have to hide anything from me," John interjected before Rodney could finish his statement. "I'm," he took a steadying breath, "I'm gay." It was hard for him to say, the last time he'd told someone he'd gotten kicked out of his own house and then he'd joined the Air Force and that was that.

But Rodney was smiling softly at him. "I didn't know."

John nodded. "Not many people do."

Rodney turned his face away. "I never thought sex could be painful, you know? I just… I mean it's been awhile so I knew it'd be a bit hard on me, the next time… but when he… it hurt."

John reached forward and touched Rodney's arm lightly. He didn't know what he could do to comfort his blue-eyed scientist, only that he had to do something.

"We can't go on like this," John murmured.

Rodney chuckled bitterly. "What choice do we have?" He paused. "Other than death."

John winced. A couple more days and he'd be too weak to stand, let alone save them both. Even now, Rodney was the stronger of the two of them, at least physically. John knew they'd have him die of thirst before they did anything about his growling stomach.

And once he was dead, how long would it take before Atlantis to lose her power completely. The failsafes would reactivate the gate at least enough for one more wormhole and then the Genii would escape unscathed.

"We have to try," John said. "We must."

Rodney's eyes burned into him, but John couldn't explain himself then.

"Okay," Rodney said. "What do we do?"

John took a deep breath. He wasn't sure what they could do. "Let's talk it out. How many men does Kolya have left?"

"Five, I believe," Rodney frowned. "Along with Sora and Laden."

"And Kolya," John said. "So that's eight." Not too many, and usually he'd be fine with those odds, but he was weak and they were stuck in a room until the next time a man came to bring Rodney to the Genii commander.

An idea donned suddenly and John jerked up straight. "How about we do this?"

Rodney listened as he explained, his face growing white but his eyes determined.

"Can you do it?" John asked as he finished. It would put even more upon Rodney's shoulders.

"It's the only plan that could possibly succeed," Rodney said. He closed his eyes and nodded. "I can do it."

-._.-._.-._.-

The guard prodded him forward with a gun to his back. John was only glad he didn't stumble and destroy his calm image as he was pushed into the command center.

Rodney stood next to Kolya, his shoulders hunched miserably over the laptop. He looked up as soon as John neared, a flash of stark relief coming over his face. "You made it."

John nodded, but didn't speak as he turned his eyes to the man he assumed was Commander Kolya of the Genii.

Kolya's dark eyes met his squarely, and then turned on Rodney. "The shield, Dr. McKay."

Rodney hesitated, his fingers still on the keys as he glanced again towards John. John nodded brusquely. "Save our city, Rodney," he murmured. He supposed that they could have tried to fake it, maybe say the shield wasn't working, but with Atlantis blocking the gate there would be no where for them to go.

Kolya's face morphed into anger, almost possessive in nature as he looked at John. John raised an eyebrow, but inside he grew cold at what that meant.

Rodney wasn't Kolya's.

Bolstered, Rodney quickly typed in the code. "And, there."

"A massive wave is approaching from the West," Ladon said from the other monitor. "Without the shield-"

"It's working. It just needs to build up enough power for the shield to activate. Wait for it," Rodney's eyes flashed across the screen in front of him. "Lightning is hitting the conduits. Last chance to get out of the halls… and… here we go."

The city shuddered around them. John caught himself on Rodney's shoulder and Rodney leaned into him. "Is it working?" Sora asked over the sudden clatter of noise.

"It's working!" Rodney told her over John's shoulder.

"The shield has engaged around the city," Ladon told them all. "The wave has passed."

John's shoulders relaxed slightly and his arm curled protectively around Rodney. He felt a prickle on his neck and twisted his head to see Kolya watching them.

John stiffened, but too late. He knew what Kolya had seen and what he would take from that scene. There was no doubt he would use that against them both. Or at least, against John. He had no doubt that Rodney was just comforted by a familiar presence, the fact that it was him was inconsequential.

But maybe that'd make it easier on the scientist. He hoped so, no matter how much he wished for Rodney to return his feelings.

"Commander," one of the guards said. "I have found a room as you asked."

"Good," Kolya nodded. "Put them in it and return here. Ladon, I want you to get started on fixing the ring of the ancestors."

"Yes, sir," the guard and Laden both said and then John and Rodney were being prodded by gunpoint out of the control room and towards one of the yet-explored rooms of the central tower.

The door opened as the guard put his hand on the side switch and he gestured with his gun for them both to step in.

They did and the door was closed behind them. John looked around the empty room and a sense of dread overcame him like the last of the tidal surge.

They was no more reason to keep either of them alive now, was there?

-._.-._.-._.-

Though he'd spent who knows how long in the room that had become his cell, the last few hours after they'd made their plan and before the guard came to get Rodney were worse than any except the first day.

The first day had been… bad.

"Why Air Force?" Rodney asked suddenly.

John blinked and looked over at him. "Huh?"

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Air Force. Why? Why not Navy. I'm mean, I'm assuming you wanted to fly… Navy has the better helicopter units, right?"

John frowned. "My dad was Navy, before he went into business."

"Business?" Rodney asked. "Wait, Sheppard Industries? Is that yours?"

"It's my dad's," John nodded. "Not mine." It would never be his, his dad had made that clear, but John didn't care much. He never wanted to be grounded and running a multi-million dollar corporation would ground him totally.

"Huh," Rodney's mouth turned down in that crooked half-frown of his, the one that said he was contemplating something.

In Rodney's right hand was a knife. John had been relieved when the Genii hadn't checked his body for anymore weapons after they'd taken his P-90 and handgun, but he'd learned quickly that any move in the direction of the guards had their trigger fingers tightening and so he'd kept his distance, never able to use his backup weapon.

Now, it would be Rodney's duty to go for the kill so they could escape.

"You have any other family?" Rodney asked.

He was trying to distract himself, John realized, so he answered. "Just a brother. Older by a couple years. He has a wife and kids, but I don't see them often." Or ever, he thought.

"I have a sister," Rodney said. "I haven't talked to her in… two years. We had a fight, last year." He was looked at his lap, his fingers playing with the knife. "She had a kid and dropped out of grad school and I told she was ruining her life and now… now I'm on Atlantis."

"I'm sure you'll see her again, Rodney," John said.

"If we ever reconnect with Earth," Rodney took a deep breath. "If we ever do then I'm going to go visit her. I'm going to apologize for shutting her out of my life. I don't even know the name of my niece, you know. That's… I don't remember where my priorities had been, but one thing the Pegasus Galaxy teaches you is how to re-prioritize, right?"

"She'll forgive you," John told him. "She has to."

Rodney huffed. "My sister is about a stubborn as me. If I told her that…"

John shifted and put a hand on Rodney's knee. "If she doesn't, I'll go to her house and make her myself."

Rodney laughed, which was good, and then he sobered a little. "I'd like you to come with me," he said finally. "Emotional support."

John's throat constricted. "I'd like that."

Then the door opened suddenly and they both froze, before scrambling to their feet.

The guard kept his gun pointed at John, like he always did. It was funny, in some ways, that all of the Genii considered John more of a threat than Rodney. Hell, most of John's soldiers would say the same.

Ask any of the scientists, though… John could kill a person with his bare hands. Rodney could blow up a planet. That was the difference in their power, and John knew it.

In this instance, though, the Genii's underestimation of Rodney's abilities was to their advantage.

Then again, the soldier had probably been witness to Rodney at his utter weakest. Humiliated, defeated, in pain.

John glared at the man and the soldier shifted uneasily. "Let's go," he said to Rodney, his eyes not even moving away from John's face.

Rodney stepped forward, walking up the guard with one hand behind his back. John continued to keep his eyes on the solider so as not to give the plan away, not to get Rodney hurt.

Rodney moved quickly, the knife jutting out of the guard's chest before the man could even pull the trigger on John. John ducked the side, just in case the man did shoot in the last few minutes of his life, but by the time he'd looked up again, the guard was dead on the ground.

Standing over him, Rodney shook slightly. His throat moved as he swallowed hard and he'd grown even paler. John walked up to him and wrapped a hesitant arm around his shoulder.

"You okay?" he asked softly.

Rodney shook under his arm. "That's the first time I've killed someone up close before," he admitted. "Sorry, just… give me a minute."

John did, even though they need to move before Kolya got impatient and sent more guards. But every soldier went through this phase after they killed their first man.

In every soldier's file was that exact moment when they turned from civilians to killers. John hoped that Rodney would never become okay with death, not like John had so many years before.

"We need to go," John said finally.

"Yeah, okay," Rodney nodded. He stepped through the door, turning to look at both ends of the hall as John retrieved both knife and gun from the guard's body.

-._.-._.-._.-

"What is this room?" Rodney asked to himself, pacing towards the door again. "There's no inside control panel at all!"

"Maybe it was the time-out spot," John suggested dryly.

"For naughty Ancient children?" Rodney snorted. "Yeah, right."

John shrugged, but inside he was fretting just as much as Rodney. "There's nothing you can do, Rodney. Sit down, we need to conserve our strength."

"Hmph," Rodney shook his head, but he sat regardless. There was silence for several moments, then Rodney sighed. "I'm hungry."

John winced. "I could use some water."

"I'm hypoglycemic, you know," Rodney said as if John hadn't spoken. "I need to eat soon, or I'll die."

John wanted to mention that they'll probably die anyway, but he knew that Rodney knew that. Knew that Rodney was just trying to distract himself.

It was one of the things he'd figured out about the scientist. Half the insincere or stupid things he said were because of his anxiety. It should turn John off, someone so arrogant and insecure, but instead it made him even more interested in Rodney.

"John," Rodney murmured.

John looked over, wondering when they'd started calling each other by their first names. "Yeah?"

Rodney was looking straight ahead, his shoulders tense and his hands clenched together. "I got Elizabeth killed."

A harsh intake of breath, and then John was shaking his head harshly. "No, no Rodney. That was not your fault. They… Elizabeth knew the risks when she stepped through the gate, okay?"

"He just shot her," Rodney stated quickly. "I couldn't do anything."

"You tried," John reminded him. "Rodney, look at me." He waited until Rodney did and caught him with an honest glare. "Don't blame yourself. Don't go down that road. Elizabeth wouldn't want that, you know she wouldn't."

It was something that had to be told to him. Something he still wasn't good at reminding himself. An image of Holland flashed through his mind and he turned away from Rodney's suddenly sharp eyes.

"How many people have you lost before?" Rodney asked.

John let out a harsh breath. "Too many," he admitted.

"One is too many," Rodney countered.

John bowed his head. "True." He took a shuddering breath, Elizabeth's determined gaze, her relieved smile, her sharp words and kind heart… all of that consumed him.

He forced it to simmer down, to be contained in that cage inside his mind where he kept Holland and Dex and Mitch and his mother all the others he'd lost over his life.

He hoped he wouldn't have to push Rodney in that cage. He didn't think he'd be able to. No, he knew he wouldn't.

Rodney meant too much, was too large a person to ever fit in that cramped cage.

"How are we going to tell the expedition?" Rodney asked. "We don't have a leader anymore."

"We do," John said. "Us, the two of us. We can lead this expedition. We'll have to."

Rodney frowned. "Grodin and Zelenka can take over more of the scientific responsibilities," he acknowledged finally. "Just until we reconnect with Earth, right?"

"We'll find a ZPM," John told him. "I promised At-" he cut himself off as the door opened.

Kolya stood on the other side, a guard at his side pointing his gun at John. "Stay where you are, Major," the commander said as John made to stand up. "I have a question for Dr. McKay."

John and Rodney exchanged a quick glance.

"The ring of the ancestors," Kolya stated. "Or, what do you call it?, ah, yes, the stargate. Despite Laden's best efforts, it is failing to engage."

"Might be interference from the storm," John said, shrugging.

"I did not ask you, Major," Kolya scowled. "I asked Dr. McKay."

John glared as Rodney shook his head. "I can't know unless I see it," he stated. "But Jo- the major might be right."

"The storm has passed." Kolya raised an eyebrow.

Two heartbeats and no one spoke. Finally, Kolya sighed. "Very well, Dr. McKay, come with me. Major, you can stay here."

John stood, ready to fight his way out instead of letting Kolya take Rodney, but Rodney laid a hand on his arm and shook his head. John opened his mouth to argue, only Rodney had already made his way to the door.

As soon as he was in Kolya's grasp, he was grabbed by his arm and twisted into Kolya's chest. "Let's go," Kolya said with a nasty grin.

John vibrated with fury as the door closed behind them. He glared at it for several minutes, as if he could open it with his mind. He could, sometimes, and he now knew that was probably Atlantis. Except he wasn't sure the extent of her reach.

He could try. Walking to the door, John put a hand on it and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath and pushed out with his mind, trying to find that connection he'd had on the chair.

There was the faintest brush against him and then it was gone. John tried again, pushing as hard as he could, but the room was silent around him and the door remained closed under his hand.

John leaned his head against it, his eyes still closed as he waited.

Hours later, when it opened again, John had retreated back to the corner. Rodney was unceremoniously dumped onto the floor and the door was closed just as quickly as it had been opened.

"Rodney!" John called, rushing over to his teammate. He turned him over and found the scientist's eyes unfocused. "Rodney, are you okay?"

"I couldn't figure out," Rodney croaked. "The gate- the gate wouldn't work. They, he, I couldn't- I wasn't lying."

John opened his mouth to tell Rodney about Atlantis, to say that he couldn't have figured it out because Atlantis was working against him to save them.

But Rodney had turned over, shivering, and John saw the blood seeping through his jacket arm and he swallowed hard. "You're hurt," he stated. "Rodney, Rodney stay with me."

Rodney groaned and John felt his heart constrict in his chest.

-._.-._.-._.-

The hallways were empty as they raced down them. John thought he could feel the remaining traces of the electrical storm that had powered the city enough to create the shield, but it could just have been his imagination.

"Hold," John said. Rodney stopped immediately and John peered around the corner, his gun leading his sight, before he nodded Rodney ahead. Rodney quickly stepped into the transporter and John followed.

Rodney pressed a button on the back screen and John raised his gun again, though he doubted any of the Genii would be near Rodney's lab.

They weren't. Rodney quickly entered his command code and stepped inside. John left him there and headed to the nearest weapons storage, where he traded his Genii gun for a P-90 and several extra ammo clips. He strapped on a bulletproof vest and grabbed another one for Rodney.

After a moment, he frowned and grabbed a pistol for Rodney too. They'd been working on his aim and though Rodney still had quite a ways to go, he was proficient enough.

John jogged back to the lab in time to see Rodney unplugging a laptop. "Ready?" he asked.

"Yeah," Rodney nodded. "I need to tap into the circuit line of the command tower. Let's go."

"Here," John said, handing the vest and then the gun over. Rodney frowned, but accepted both. John grabbed the computer so Rodney could slip on the vest and then stick the handgun in it.

A minute later, and they were racing back down the hallway again, though this time back in the direction of the command tower. John kept his eyes and ears open, aware that they could run into a Genii at any minute.

"Here," Rodney said, stopping. He reached for a panel on the wall and pull out a cord, plugging it into his laptop. Balancing the computer on his forearm, he began to type with one hand.

John heard footsteps coming down the hallway and he slid up against the wall, gun ready. The soldier came around the corner, gun already raised, but John was faster as he pulled the trigger of his P-90.

The Genii fell backwards, mouth open in shock. His body hit the ground with a thud and a shudder, before he fell still and dead.

John's mouth twisted grimly, but when no more guards came after several minutes, he walked back over to where Rodney was watching him. "You go it?"

"Yeah, just give me a second," Rodney murmured, his eyes moving back to the screen. He hits three keys in rapid succession, making a small noise of success as the laptop flashed to show a video feed from the command room.

John frowned the minute his eyes laid upon Kolya and he could feel Rodney grow stiff besides him. There was only five in the room, just Kolya, Sora, Laden, and two guards. Which mean there was one more out in the corridors, assuming their count was correct.

"Can you lock them in?" John asked.

"Done," Rodney answered immediately, typing in a quick code with his open hand. "I'll override it when we get to the door."

"Good," John nodded. He watched as Kolya said something to Laden, his posture angry. Laden flinched back and Sora paled. John was only glad that Kolya's own men were just as scared of the monster as they should be.

"What did you do?" Rodney asked suddenly.

"When?" John tilted his head to the side and glanced at Rodney out of the corner of his eyes.

Rodney turned to face him. "To the gate. What did you do to it?"

John inhaled deeply. "Oh."

"I know you did something," Rodney said. "I just can't figure it out. It wasn't anything I could override, which is a good thing I suppose, because Laden will never figure it out, but…"

"It was to protect you," John said, and then amended quickly. "To protect the city."

But still, he was glad Rodney was still as sharp as ever. His eyes were clear and John attributed that to the fact that they had an escape plan. That they could get out of this alive and, if not whole, at least they could recover.

How could Rodney ever think himself weak? John asked himself as Rodney continued to stare at him. Stronger men than Rodney had fallen apart over what Kolya did to him, and yet he was still so determined to survive. To continue to live his life.

He was so strong. So very strong and beautiful.

John opened his mouth. "I love you."

Rodney's eyes widened. It would be comical except that John's heart was pounding in his ears.

"John," Rodney murmured.

John smiled softly. "Sorry, I know it's not the best time, but…"

Rodney shook his head and then slowly, hesitantly, leaned forward. John met him halfway there, their lips touching like a power surge. John groaned into it and pushed closer, only to have Rodney retreating.

"Sorry, sorry," John said immediately, getting out of Rodney's space. "That was-"

"Don't," Rodney cut him off. "It's okay. He… you're not him and he never kissed me anyways." Rodney grimaced. "I'm sorry I'm so…"

"You're not," John reassured him. "God, Rodney you're perfect. You're so strong and beautiful." It was a relief to finally say the things that had been on his mind and he let that show in his eyes.

Rodney softened and leaned forward again, giving John another kiss. John let him take control of it this time, though he wanted nothing more than to wrap Rodney in his arms and hold him tight.

Now was not the time.

John pulled back this time. "We don't really have time for this," he murmured.

Rodney nodded and licked his lips. "Right." He closed his laptop and unplugged it, sticking it under his arm.

John pulled back the urge to kiss him again and instead he began to explain. "Atlantis is sentient. Or, at least, she's has an extensive AI."

"Okay, what?" Rodney frowned.

"I've felt her before," John said. "But I thought it was my imagination. You know how the Ancient technology seems to sort… read your mind? Well, I think that's her. Or part of her."

"It- she was designed to discover the needs of the user and cater to them," Rodney nodded slowly. "Okay. So the gate…"

"I went to the chair and I connected with her," John explained. "She needs power, Rodney. She's so weak."

Rodney's eyes flashed with determination. "Of course. As soon as we regain our city, save Atlantis, we'll get her a ZedPM."

John smiled. "She's blocking gate travel so the Genii can't come or go until we say."

"I see," Rodney murmured. "Okay, then." He took a deep breath. "Onto phase two?"

John nodded. He led the way down the hall, stepping over the dead Genii as they made their way to where Kolya and his men were locked inside the command tower.

-._.-._.-._.-

John pushed down his panic. "Focus, Rodney, focus on me."

Rodney's gaze flickered and it gave John hope that he was listening. "I'm going to take your jacket off, okay?"

No response, but John pushed past it, sitting Rodney up and tugging the jacket first from his unhurt arm and then past the hurt one. Rodney cried out as the cloth peeled away from the bleeding wound and John winced. "Sorry, sorry," he murmured as he set the jacket aside.

The wound was deep, extremely deep. John could see the hint of the bone at the bottom and his own arm ached in sympathy. It needed stiches at the very least, but he didn't have anything he could use so instead he settled for ripping apart Rodney's jacket into large strips.

"Lemon," Rodney muttered.

"What?" John asked as he tightly wrapped the arm.

"Don't put lemon," Rodney said, his eyes still dulled.

John bit back a growl. Rodney was allergic to citrus, he remembered, and he hoped that it was only when orally ingested. Regardless, putting lemon on a cut that deep… no wonder Rodney had told Kolya the plan earlier.

"There you go," John said. He frowned, noticing Rodney's strange angle. "I'm gonna shift you."

Rodney coughed, once, and John grabbed him by his shoulders, sitting him up more and moving him onto his ass.

Rodney cried out in pain and John froze. "Rodney?"

The scientist shivered, twisting out of John's grasp. "No, please, no more. I don't know, I don't know anything. I promise."

John took a shuddering breath and moved a hand to Rodney's back and then down.

"No!" Rodney jerked and then grew still and silent.

John wrenched himself away, scrambling back so that he was no longer touching Rodney. He knew what was happening, Rodney had escaped into himself. An escape from the pain that had been inflicted upon him.

John wondered if the wound on his arm was just secondary to him now. It was still certainly the most dangerous physically. Psychologically, though.

The idea that Rodney would be altered by this was terrifying, but John's terror soon caved way to cold rage as the full realization of Rodney's situation was. He wondered if it was just one or if more had joined in.

"Fuck," John cursed and then banged his face into his hands as the word just produced more nightmarish images to plague him.

Once, when he was a teenager, he and his dad had been watching the news and there was a story about a serial murder who went to gay bars and found victims to violate and then kill.

His dad had sneered at the TV. "Serves them right," he'd said. "Faggots."

John had been silent, because by that point he'd already had his first kiss and it wasn't Suzie next door, but Gary down the street.

Sometimes, John wondered if he would never have married Nancy if he hadn't gone Air Force. Or if his father hadn't kicked him out of the house. It was a combination of the two, he thought, that had him finding a woman whom he'd liked, for her personality if not for her gender.

It certainly had gotten a number of his commanding officers off his back and they'd gone back to overlooking his occasional longing stare. It hadn't however, gotten his dad talking with him again and the man hadn't even come to the wedding.

The divorce, a year or so later, had been a relief.

Right now though, his dad didn't matter. Hell, even the Air Force didn't matter. They were stuck in another galaxy with no contact with Earth. Who the fuck cared if John was gay and in love with his CSO?

He was in love with Rodney.

John looked over in Rodney's direction only to find him curled up in the fetal position. He winced and looked away, knowing that if he looked over again he would have to dosomething and something would not be a good thing. Not in this situation.

John closed his eyes and pressed his face against the wall, angry and feeling more useless than he had since his mom passed away.

Nothing mattered anymore except getting Rodney out of Kolya's grasp. He wanted to rip Kolya apart, to tear him away until he could never even touch Rodney again.

-._.-._.-._.-

They ran into the last guard as they were rounding the final corner before the main door to the gateroom. Surprisingly, it was Rodney that shot first, though he hit the guard in the leg. Still, it was enough to give John the second's advantage it took him to round off into the man's chest.

"Just those in the command tower left," Rodney said.

John nodded. He approached the door and listened inside. All he could hear was muffled voices, though, so he gestured for Rodney to unlock it.

The door slid open and John shot the minute he could see a figure. The guard went down, followed quickly by the one next to him as John fired again.

Kolya faced him, a gun pointed at John. John trained his P-90 on the commander and raised an eyebrow.

"Major," Kolya said and there was a hint of surprise in his voice. "I see you have not yet succumbed to your hunger."

"Not yet," John said grimly. He knew he'd have a long road of recovery ahead of him, what with the fact he was pushing his body to the last of its meager energy reserves as he struggled to focus on the fight about to occur.

"Dr. McKay," Kolya turned his eyes to Rodney.

John fired.

Kolya's mouth dropped open slightly, surprise in his eyes as he stumbled backwards, clutching at the wounds in his chest. "I see," he said, haltingly.

And then he fell to the ground.

It was almost anti-climactic, John thought as he stared down at the body of the man he'd been making a monster inside his own head for days.

"Don't move," Rodney said and John jerked. His mind was hazy from the lack of water and food, so much so that Rodney, who'd spent days being violated by the man John had just killed was more in control that John was.

Sora and Laden stood above Kolya's body. Sora had a gun in hand, but she held it loosely.

"Drop the gun and surrender and I promise you will be given better treatment than we were," John told them.

"Why?" Sora asked. "We starved you. The commander," her eyes flicked to Rodney. "He hurt you in front of all of us. Why would you let us-"

"Because we're better than that," John said. "We're not the enemies, Sora. We're trying to destroy the Wraith, save this galaxy."

"You invaded the city of the ancestors," Laden stated. "This city isn't yours to take."

"Neither is it yours," Rodney said. He was shivering around the edges and John took a deep breath.

"Atlantis is not just a city, she's alive," John told them. "She's sentient, not just a possession that can change hands. She allowed us to settle on her and we will continue to do everything in our power to repay her, including destroying the creatures that threaten her."

"The Wraith," Sora stated.

"And any others," John said, looking directly at her. "Drop your gun, Sora of the Genii."

Sora's hands shook and she nodded. "I haven't agreed with this, not since," she looked once again towards Rodney. "I apologize."

"Don't," Rodney told her harshly. "You stood there and did nothing, you have no right to apologize."

Sora dropped the gun and nodded. She held out her hands.

"You?" John asked Laden.

Laden frowned. "I… yes. Yes, I surrender."

"Give me your gun," John told Rodney. "And tie them up."

Rodney did. Both Sora and Laden cooperated and soon enough they were tied at the wrists and weaponless.

"Come on," John gestured with his gun and marched the two remaining Genii back to the room he and Rodney had been kept in.

Laden paled as soon as he saw it. "You promised-"

"I'm not going to starve you," John told him. "Nor am I going to rape you. Right now, however, this is where you are going to stay while I get my people back on this city and we properly mourn our losses. Try to escape and I will kill you like I killed Kolya."

Sora nodded smartly and pushed Laden into the room with her shoulder. "We understand, Major."

John closed the door behind them and collapsed against the wall, breathing heavily. Now that the threat was over, he felt weak to the bone, but his work wasn't done. Not yet.

"Rodney," John said, clicking the radio.

"Yeah," Rodney answered immediately. "Laden did a lot of damage to the systems trying to work the gate. I'm fixing what I can, but I'm going to need Grodin and Zelenka's help."

"We'll get them," John told him. "I'm going to the chair now."

"I'll meet you back here when you're done," Rodney said and the radio cut out.

John jogged to the transporter and then slowed to a walk as he neared the chair. He hoped he wouldn't collapse in it.

He sat and leaned back at the chair turned under him. Atlantis' response was immediate. Joy and relief mixed with worry for John and Rodney.

We'll be fine, he told her. Can you open the gate back up?

She did immediately and faded back into the city as John opened his eyes and staggered out of the chair.

The walk back to the gateroom was excruciating, but John got there. The first thing he noticed was Rodney, staring at Kolya's body bleeding on the floor and he winced.

"Rodney," he called, walking up to the man he loved. "Rodney, hey, you okay?"

Rodney seemed to wrench his eyes away from Kolya and onto John. He nodded. "Just relieved, I think. I don't know, I don't really feel… I feel numb."

"It's okay," John told him. "That's normal."

"But you," Rodney amended. "I feel my feelings for you. I didn't return… I love you too, John. So much."

John smiled and leaned forward to give Rodney a soft kiss. "I love you more than anything. Or anyone."

Rodney smiled brightly. "Good."

"Let's bring our people home," John said. "We need Carson to look at us, both of us, and we need to tell them about Elizabeth. It's going to hit them hard…"

"We'll get through it," Rodney stated. "Our expedition is adaptable if nothing else."

John hoped Rodney was talking about himself, he hoped he was. It relieved him, knowing that they could both heal from this.

"Dial the gate to Manara," John told him.

Rodney nodded and did. The wormhole engaged and John clicked his radio. "Hello out there."

"Major!" Ford answered. "We're so glad you're okay. We've been trying to contact Atlantis for days."

"We hit a bit of snag," John said. "The Genii tried to take over the city."

"The Genii?" Teyla's voice came on.

John let out a laugh, relief coursing through him like euphoria. "You guys have a lot to catch up on."

"Yes, sir," Ford said. "Should we start sending our people through?"

"Marines first, then civilians," John ordered. "Meet you on the other side, Lieutenant."

He clicked the radio off and turned to Rodney.

Rodney smiled at him and slipped his hand into John's. John gave into his impulse and kissed the scientist once more on the lips before turning to greet the first of their men coming through the gate.


	8. Z is for ZedPM

**Title: **Z is for ZedPM  
**Summary: **Rodney may have found a ZPM, but John had lost Rodney and that was unacceptable. Now it was just a matter of making Rodney realize that his life was more important than anything.  
**Genres: **First Time  
**Pairing: **Sheppard/McKay  
**Rating: **T  
**Warnings: **None  
**Notes: **For the Alphabet Soup challenge in Stargateland where my team did 26 Reasons to Disobey Your Commanding Officer and I chose the letter Z (for ZedPM).

* * *

"Goddammit, Rodney!" John yelled as he dogged yet another arrow headed his way. Behind him, Ronon and Teyla were struggling to shoot back at the angry natives.

John had turned his head to check on them just a minute before and when he'd looked back to where the scientist had been, Rodney was gone.

The natives were growing in size and anger. John knew he couldn't make the right decision, not in this situation, so he was glad when Teyla finally called out, "We need to get back to the gate, John."

John nodded and covered her and Ronon's backs as they raced back into the deep woods they'd been traversing in before they'd stumbled across the sacred shrine that had led to the arrows flying at them.

In short order, they'd lost the mob, and only then did John allow himself to stop, feeling rage like he'd rarely felt before as he turned to the nearest tree and punched it. His knuckle came back bloody, but he hardly noticed.

"John," Teyla placed a calming hand on his shoulder.

John shook her off and tapped his radio twice. There was no answering taps. He frowned and tapped again, "Rodney, answer."

Silence spread through the forest. John only realized his hands were shaking when Teyla took the bloodied one and wrapped a bandage around it firmly.

"He'll be fine," Ronon said. John opened his mouth to say that they can't know that, when Ronon continued, "and if he isn't, we'll tear this place apart for him."

John stared at the runner that had become his friend and nodded. "Yeah," he said, voice hoarse.

"Come, we need to inform Woolsey," Teyla reminded them.

The rest of the long walk back to the gate was done in near silence. John found himself cursing Rodney; if only the scientist had listened to him for once and stayed put. The Stargate program may not be the best in terms of obeying one's commanding officers and usually John didn't mind. This was one of the times when he wished that Rodney would have just obeyed and obeyed on instinct instead of just on whim.

They had just reached the DHD when the foliage rustled with the sound of quick footsteps. All three of the remaining team members raised their guns towards the noise, only to lower them as Rodney came bursting out of the trees, a ZPM in his hands.

"Oh good, you guys haven't left yet," Rodney approached them with a practical bounce in his step.

"Rodney," John breathed. "I thought-"

"You didn't answer your radio, McKay," Ronon grumbled.

"My radio fell off," Rodney had the nerve to shrug. "But look I found the ZedPM!"

"You," John looked from the innocent orange device to the scientist who'd been the one that had told them that the energy readings coming from this planet were positive. All of the sudden, he reached forward and tugged Rodney in close, hands hard against the surprisingly strong arms. "Never do that again."

Rodney's blue eyes widened in shock. "John?"

"This," John took the ZPM, "is not worth your life, Rodney."

"But it's a-" Rodney cut himself off with a sudden intake of breath as John tossed the ZPM in Ronon's general direction. "Sheppard!"

John clasped the back of Rodney's neck, ignoring Ronon and Teyla who undoubtedly were smiling knowingly at them. "When I tell you to stop, you have to listen to me, Rodney. Nothing is worth your life, not to me."

Rodney went pink then, his eyes wide as if he finally got it, after years of obliviousness. "Oh."

John knew he was still shaking and he felt as though he needed a five mile run or a good hard fuck. He would settle for the run because Rodney deserved more than the latter and there hadn't been anyone else for John since the second year of the expedition, even as Rodney himself dated girl after girl, ending with the latest disaster of Jennifer Keller.

"Oh," Rodney said again and he relaxed into John's brutal hold. "Why didn't you ever say?"

"You're worth too much," John repeated, but it was also an answer to the scientist's question.

Rodney laughed softly and leaned forward and gave John a shy kiss. John returned it, but stopped himself before he could really let go of his emotions, really devour and claim Rodney as he wants to.

Later, they presented the ZPM to Woolsey, who turned to Rodney and said, "So you disobeyed your commanding officer, ran through a bunch of Pegasus natives with swords and bows, and stole their ZPM?"

"Well, it is a ZedPM," Rodney said.

Woolsey nodded as if that was the truth. "Don't tell the IOA I said this, but good job Rodney."

Rodney grinned and John shook his head, because no matter what he said he didn't doubt that Rodney wouldn't go back and change his actions. Wouldn't not do that again in the future.

Still, perhaps John could finally prove to the scientist that even if risks are sometimes necessary, there was someone who cared more than anything about his safe return.

Rodney turned his bright eyes to John and the colonel saw as he recognized that conviction. "But maybe I'll tell my team the plan next time," he murmured and they left together to get out from under the surprised gaze of the current Atlantis leader.

"I am sorry, John," Rodney said even later into John's bare skin.

John ran his hands down that pale back before him. "I know."

Rodney said something else, but it's too quiet to be heard. John didn't need to hear it, however, he'd already been told in the warm touches and soft kisses and sparkling eyes and that... that was better than twenty rough fucks. And he said it all back with his own carasses, giving back to Rodney what he knew Rodney needed.

They fell asleep together as the city hummed with the power of another ZPM and the ocean waves crashed on the nearest pier and their breaths mingled like two souls finally intertwining.


End file.
